Sir Poop-a-lot

Hi once again. I apologise for not updating my blog for so long. I have been really really busy with my work. Ahhh who am I kidding? I was just really lazy. In fact I dont feel like blogging right now. Primarily because I'm indulging in buttered corn. My mum made em. Well you see I'm a disgusting and revolting eater. When I was younger, my grandmother used to say I only used to eat half of what was on my plate and dribbled the rest down all over myself. My sisters used to say I had a hole in my mouth.Naturally I wanted all these unwanted "comments" to stop. So I developed finer eating habits(only used in the company of others) and since Im alone now, Im eating like an animal... gnawing on the corn and shaking my head vigorously to tear apart the corn kernels. So its all kinda messy and that is why I dont feel like blogging. However, you already probably guessed that I will continue blogging since I already started and since you would be able to see that this post doesnt end here... although of course it could actually end here and whatever I am about to type henceforth could just be rubbish.

Today went quite well. Other than the fact that I walked around in circles in Ang Mo Kio in the rain and couldnt get what I wanted and then went to my friends house and could not resolve his PC problem. OH! and not forgetting the cat that shat on us. I'll come to that later.

After repairing(or attempting to at least) my friends computer, I met Edmund Verghese a.k.a Vergoose a.k.a Voghill a.k.a Ninja for dinner. I had two plain and one cheese prata and he had two plains... since he already had dinner but was just greedy. The prata man was very crooked. He tried cheating poor Edmund twice. First when he kept Edmunds $0.80 change and a second time by trying to cheat him twenty cents extra for a drink. Poor guy. We supposed that he cheated unsuspecting customers and put that money into his Yun Nam Fund. Yeap you guessed right. He is BALD. Probably saving for acupuncture or smthin. Gosh... now i feel bad for being mean to him. Well, as a consolation, baldness results from excessive testosterones... so he should be proud how much of a man he is.

After prata, we walked around and met a cat. He was really cute and "clean". His fur looked like it had just been shampooed or smthin. Probably a recently abandoned cat. It was like really friendly and stuff, brushing against our legs and it followed us to a bench. Edmund sat down and carried the cat up and played with it. I just sat down beside him and stared at them. The cat rested its paw and its head on its chest and closed its eyes as Edmund tickled it. Heres the dialogue of what was said.

Edmund: Awww look at it... Its so cute isnt it???

Me: It smells of shit dude.

Edmund: Ill call it FeiMao (or so I recall)

Me: No lets call it Dawg. It would be cool to say to it "Waddup Dawg"

Edmund: No Im calling it FeiMao.

Me: U sick twisted B%^^$&^

Edmund: Damn its claws are poking my nipples.

Me: Hahahahahahaha. Ha......... Ha.

Edmund: EH yah! it smells of shit.

Me: I still think Dawg sounds better...

*The cat is rubbing itself all over Edmund oh and btw it stepped on me a little before.

*I notice a little clump on its tail so I look closer... still trying to figure out if its dust or shit. THEN! I get a good view of whats under its tail... he probably had diarrhea and his butt was FAAARRR FAAR away from clean. It was like a blueberry waffle. the waffle was its butt and the the shit, represented by the blueberry was smeared all over it.

Me: DUDE!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHY IT SMELLS OF SHIT???!!!!!!!

*Edmund tried pushing her off.

Me: Lift up its tail man... and you'll find out.

At this point, normal people would either just throw the cat on the floor and run far away or push the cat aside and carefully look at its ass to assess the 'damage'. However, Edmund carefully pushes the cat aside the the other side and grabs its tail and lifts it tail up. Oh and he grabbed the top part of the tail... very near its ass(the disaster area). There you have it.... his hand became a blueberry waffle. A duplicated blueberry waffle... like those cheap ones where they just spread the blueberry on one waffle then sandwich it with another for a while so that the other gets a bit of blueberry as well. Thats all I have to say for today... really tired. Goodnight.

PS: If the cat who shat itself is reading this... GO GET A PIECE OF SANDPAPER AND WORK ON THAT ASS OF URES! jeez...