Once upon a time, there was an eagle. His name was Alfred Mavelpick Constantine Moralles Jr. He was from the land of Lappity Lap. So anyway, he was in Singapore for a short holiday. He was flying past High Street and then saw a filming taking place. It was for a hindi movie and it was starring Hrithik Roshan. He was a little hungry and spotted the hair on Hrithik Roshans back. He swooped down and with an almighty snap of his beak, tore off all the exposed hair on his back.
The End.
Just kiddin... Lots of things happened to me in the last two days. Yesterday I was at my uncles shop at Peninsula, helping him move some stuff outta the office. There was this other guy Faraz there too. We had to bring some stuff over to the store which was a few blocks away. Now on our way back, we saw this old man slumped against a stone bench outside Petals. We were looking at him and then Faraz suggested we ask him if he is alright. So we did just that, but he seemed to be only semi-conscious. He tried getting up, but he just couldnt lift himself up. His arms were shaving violently everytime he attempted to. So we just looked at each other and were like wtf? So we helped him get up and sit on the bench and then he signalled for some water which faraz went to get. After a drink of water, he slipped in and out of consciousness, and then finally slumped back down on the floor. We called the ambulance and them waited for like half an hour for them because they FORGOT! Imagine that man! Jeez lets all take good care of ourselves so that we never need the services of ambulances. I mean what the hell man??? Imagine you are dying in some weird corner of Singapore, trusting that an ambulance is on its way and is going to arrive very soon and those blokes back there are having doughnuts and deliberating on which team to bet on for the nights match... or something like that.
So anyway, after the police man arrived (Yes he arrived before the ambulance), me and Faraz went to see Hrithik Roshan and Priyanka Chopra(Bollywood actors) at high street. They were shooting in Singapore. Hrithik looked a little gay... Priyanka was alrite lah.
Oh and btw. I saw an eagle today. It was really awesome man... I was on my way back to Peninsula after delivering some goods at Beach Rd. I was on the bus, sitting quietly, watching some old bloke dig his nose and examine his boogey before he wiped it on his singlet with great intent. Just then, Jimmy the cricket(My conscience) appeared and said in a little wee voice.
"Yo mother-BLEEP!! You gonna put me to sleep by drowning me in booze again??! You disgusting old sonnawabeesh!!! Oh and by tha way, look outta tha window dawg! Ya mite see some shit you like. Aight! Im outta here bitch!".
And with that, my conscience Jimmy the cricket vanished. I kinda miss him. He hasnt been appearing much lately. Sigh! Anyway, I did just what he told me to. At first I saw nothing, but then I saw something above me moving. I looked up and saw that someone's hand was against the window outside. There probably was someone on the roof of the bus, trying to get attention or something. Jeez... attention seekers! But anyway it's a good thing I looked up, because I caught a glimpse of something flying in the air. It was descending fast. Could it be superman? Or an alien spaceship? Or perhaps even a bird????
Well, as you probably already guessed, it was a birdy. But what kinda birdy was it? Was it a little sparrow, flying home to mummy to tell her about all the people she shat on? Or maybe one of those little yellow birds?(Im not racist, nor generalising... actually I am. Most yellow birds are small.Hehehe!). Well, to my utter amazement, it was an eagle! A real live eagle I tell you! It was flapping its wings and flying around in the sky, I stared at it for like 5seconds and then realised that it would soon be gone. So I started waving frantically at it. Hoping... Preying(hehehe) that it would see me with its super birds eye capability. It did... or at least I think so. Mr E.Gerl cocked its head to the side, as though he was peering at me, sizing me up from way up there. I think he knew that I was trying to say hi so he started flapping ONE of his wings, (He was gliding for a while) which was facing my direction! How cool is that huh? I think thats the highlight of my day. Oh and about 10seconds later, I heard a gunshot. Which could only mean two things
1. Someone shot the eagle
2. Another murder has taken place in Singapore
Man... I really hope the eagle is fine. Oh and I had just brought out a trolley stacked with boxes out of the office at Peninsula, when this Punjabi man in his 60s walked towards me. I looked at him and smiled and he started alking to me in Punjabi and I was like I dont speak Punjabi. So he spoke to me in Hindi, which I replied to in a mix of broken hindi and english. Finally he realised that I was a dumb moron and spoke to me in English. He said "Hard physical labour is good for you. It will come in handy when you are older. I used to do a lot of hard work too! Look at me!!"
Then he thrusted his big bulging belly out and grinned. I mumbled something that went along the lines of
"Wow! I wanna be just like you when Im older. Fat and full of bullshit!" Haha. I just realised that Im very mean in this post. Hmm... no lah I dint say that. That guy was a nice chap. No hard feelings dude!
Anyway, Im off to sleep. Goodnight and goodbye!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hong Kong and China
So as most of you guys know, I was in Hong Kong and China for about 4 days. I was with my cousin from brunei who had to go there for business. He arrived in Singapore on the 15th, picked him up from the airport and left the next day for Hong Kong.
I had a great time, although I have to say that China was more enjoyable than Hong Kong. Maybe it was because I only spent a day in Hong Kong, but I felt that the people of Hong Kong werent as nice as the people in China. Hmm... I think I had so much fun because I was with my cousin. The both of us were like practically laughing the whole day. There were many strange funny events that took place there. The first one took place just after we landed.
DAY 1
We were at the customs, waiting in line talking to each other when we saw a american family joining the queue. Now let me tell u a little about that family. I dont know their last names' but im gonna call them the Stranges. Father Strange had a blueish-green mohawkish hairdo, Mother Strange had like braids that were green. Daughter strange had purple hair and the two little boy stranges had hair that I cant really describe also of a weird colour.
Now when they walked in, it was all eyes on them. Most people just took a brief glance at them, not wanting to appear appear rude by staring I guess, but me and my cousin were too stunned to take our eyes off them. My cousin turned to me and said just so loudly that a few people around us could hear "Oh boy... They are ready for disneyland". That was it man... the both of us burst out laughing along with this English gentleman behind us.
That dude was like "Shhh! Ure gonna get ureself beaten up!"
One thing I learnt in Hong Kong and China is that people dont really care for queuing up. If you even turn around for a second to talk to your friend or something, when you turn back, your nose will probably bump into another person's back who just came into that line and you know what the worst part is? They will make u feel like ure in the wrong when u tell them off. They will start mumbling and complaining and gesturing how a queue works in their country and shit like that. Its really pretty amusing.
We passed by this school named "Kaling School of the Precious Blood". I think its an indian school... Kaling! As in like "Kelingkia". Hmm anyway, we went to this small motel kinda place since it was already like 9pm and we would be out of there by 6am the next day we didnt wanna spend too much money on hotels there. We got off at this place called Nathan Road and guess what I saw when I got off the bus. INDIANS! Oh and btw it wasnt just one or two... Hundreds of them walking about talking in loud voices, Indian men scratching their crotches and asses, laughing heartily. I wouldnt have been surprised if I saw cow dung at regular intervals along the roads and walkways.
We walked into this motel kinda place owned by an indian man and enquired about the rates. My cousin had stayed there before and he said that the rooms were comparatively better than the other motels around that area. He showed us the rooms(A small, run-down room with two ugly beds and an ugly toilet... Oh and it had a very musky smell). He said it would cost HK$190(about S$50). My cousin said thats too steep and we would take it for $150. Then the bargaining went on for 5 minutes, and then finally my cousin tried negotiating with him in hindi. The indian dude didnt respond at all. He had a very pained look on his face, so my cousin asked...
"Do you speak Hindi?"
Indian Dude: NO!
(I realised it would be easier to use my cousins name "Sunil")
Sunil: Oh okay... how bout bengali?
Indian Dude: NO! IM NOT INDIAN!
** Me and Sunil turn and look at each other bewildered***
At this point, we were seriously doubting what we had just heard. Maybe he said hes North Indian... Hmm... Could that be possible?
Indian Dude: IM NOT INDIAN... IM CHINESE.
** Me and Sunil turn and look at each other again...**
At this point I didnt know whether to laugh or to be angry with that infidel.
Sunil: Oh yeah.. jeez what was I thinking... you dont look indian at all.
Me: Yeah... u dont sound indian either...
Indian Dude: Yes Im chinese... I HATE INDIANS!
Jeez man... this dude really had some issues. He hates his own kind? LOL! Thats like turd calling vomit smelly!
Sunil: Because of that comment, you are going to have to give it to us at HK$150.
Indian dude: Okay.
Well he didnt say okay but he gave it to us anyway for 150... and I later caught him speaking to his staff in hindi.
Day 2
We left the next morning at dawn, took the KCR(Hong Kongs equivalent to the MRT). Strange thing happened there, we were occupying two seats, but because of the luggage, the third seat was kinda blocked. The train later filled up and this dude gave up his seat to this old lady. That was a nice gesture right? Well he came over and started squeezing past us and the luggage to get to that seat(Which was pretty hard because our luggage took up quite a lot of space.) and then took a few steps back and then tried again, approaching at a faster speed now. He failed again and started turning around pointing at us and the seat and waving his hands in the air, looking like a deranged lunatic. My cousin tried moving the bags, but he just tried pushing past him again, swearing in cantonese. It was kinda irritating and rude, so my cousin was like
"If u wanna sit down, you could have just said it u moron! We would have moved it for you! Stop being such a dick!"
We finally moved the bags and he sat down, glaring at us occasionally. Then when his station approched, he got up and my cousin said bye to him... and that guy said something in cantonese which my cousin repeated to him just in case he was swearing at us. Nothing much else happened that day, we reached Shenzhen(hope its spelt correctly), then took the train to Guangzhou, he made some orders here and there, I tagged along, getting impressed by how he could fluently speak mandarin. He had the local slang as well. He was amazing I tell you!
I could understand lah what was going on... but I couldnt really converse in mandarin. We left that evening for Xijiao, Its like the textile haven of Guangzhou. Of course by the time we reached the markets were all closed. We checked in to this 3 or 4 star hotel(cant really remember), but the rates were around S$35/night. Damn cheap man! We had dinner there at the hotels restaurant, we just had like fried rice since we werent really that hungry. It was like just S$3-4 for the both of us. Amazing isnt it?
Day 3
We woke up early, went to the textile market to hunt for a particular design for curtains my cousin needed and boy we got lucky. The first shop we went to had that design. However, he didnt have stock, so we asked for a sample, and walked around and found a few stores that also had the design but sadly no stock. After walking around for hours... well just two actually but still, we finally got a store that could fly in the material the next day. We had lunch, bought some other stuff and then took a taxi back to Guangzhou for more shopping. They have a freaking huge market out there. Like all the branded stuff are like dirt cheap, and they are original too(not all of them though... gotta know how to differenciate). Since the factories are there, they get all the products cheap and sell them cheap. We went into this one store that was run by a really excited man who had a silver front tooth that he just loved showing off. Now he was really passionate about his shoes. He took a pair of shoes, and went to my cousin and started yelling in his ear. Then his wife came on the other side and started yelling too... lol... damn funny lah. Anyway, my cousin went out for a while to talk on the phone... apparently it was too loud inside.
I was in there, looking at shoes and stuff... noise level had reduced, I could finally hear the chinese dude singing(from the radio). The next moment when I turned around, I saw a blinding flash which was actually the light being reflected off the excited man's silver tooth. The dude shoved a pair of nike shoes in my face and all that I could hear was
"SHO WA YAYAYAYA WAMAMAMAMA SHING SHANG WO SHANG HAIYA!"
I swear dude... I almost pissed in my pants right there.
After a long days work, we retired to the hotel, snoozed and watched tv for a bit and then went to this indian restaurant and had indian food(DUH!). It was yummy! Feel like having it again. I made my cousin do the Goodness Gracious Me thing of sticking his finger up in the air and saying "CHECK PLEASE!". The waitress got scared and called the manager out. HAHAHA! He was like
"Yes sir can I help you?" and then my cousin was a little embarrassed and said "err... no I just want the bill"
Anyway, I shall continue with the rest of my trip tomorrow or something. Its getting very long. I hope its the longest post I've written. I really hope it is... What do you think? I think I should go on deliberating whether it is the longest post, because then it will help ensure that it is the longest post. Yes?? No?? Hmmm...
Hehe... goodnight guys. See yall soon.
I had a great time, although I have to say that China was more enjoyable than Hong Kong. Maybe it was because I only spent a day in Hong Kong, but I felt that the people of Hong Kong werent as nice as the people in China. Hmm... I think I had so much fun because I was with my cousin. The both of us were like practically laughing the whole day. There were many strange funny events that took place there. The first one took place just after we landed.
DAY 1
We were at the customs, waiting in line talking to each other when we saw a american family joining the queue. Now let me tell u a little about that family. I dont know their last names' but im gonna call them the Stranges. Father Strange had a blueish-green mohawkish hairdo, Mother Strange had like braids that were green. Daughter strange had purple hair and the two little boy stranges had hair that I cant really describe also of a weird colour.
Now when they walked in, it was all eyes on them. Most people just took a brief glance at them, not wanting to appear appear rude by staring I guess, but me and my cousin were too stunned to take our eyes off them. My cousin turned to me and said just so loudly that a few people around us could hear "Oh boy... They are ready for disneyland". That was it man... the both of us burst out laughing along with this English gentleman behind us.
That dude was like "Shhh! Ure gonna get ureself beaten up!"
One thing I learnt in Hong Kong and China is that people dont really care for queuing up. If you even turn around for a second to talk to your friend or something, when you turn back, your nose will probably bump into another person's back who just came into that line and you know what the worst part is? They will make u feel like ure in the wrong when u tell them off. They will start mumbling and complaining and gesturing how a queue works in their country and shit like that. Its really pretty amusing.
We passed by this school named "Kaling School of the Precious Blood". I think its an indian school... Kaling! As in like "Kelingkia". Hmm anyway, we went to this small motel kinda place since it was already like 9pm and we would be out of there by 6am the next day we didnt wanna spend too much money on hotels there. We got off at this place called Nathan Road and guess what I saw when I got off the bus. INDIANS! Oh and btw it wasnt just one or two... Hundreds of them walking about talking in loud voices, Indian men scratching their crotches and asses, laughing heartily. I wouldnt have been surprised if I saw cow dung at regular intervals along the roads and walkways.
We walked into this motel kinda place owned by an indian man and enquired about the rates. My cousin had stayed there before and he said that the rooms were comparatively better than the other motels around that area. He showed us the rooms(A small, run-down room with two ugly beds and an ugly toilet... Oh and it had a very musky smell). He said it would cost HK$190(about S$50). My cousin said thats too steep and we would take it for $150. Then the bargaining went on for 5 minutes, and then finally my cousin tried negotiating with him in hindi. The indian dude didnt respond at all. He had a very pained look on his face, so my cousin asked...
"Do you speak Hindi?"
Indian Dude: NO!
(I realised it would be easier to use my cousins name "Sunil")
Sunil: Oh okay... how bout bengali?
Indian Dude: NO! IM NOT INDIAN!
** Me and Sunil turn and look at each other bewildered***
At this point, we were seriously doubting what we had just heard. Maybe he said hes North Indian... Hmm... Could that be possible?
Indian Dude: IM NOT INDIAN... IM CHINESE.
** Me and Sunil turn and look at each other again...**
At this point I didnt know whether to laugh or to be angry with that infidel.
Sunil: Oh yeah.. jeez what was I thinking... you dont look indian at all.
Me: Yeah... u dont sound indian either...
Indian Dude: Yes Im chinese... I HATE INDIANS!
Jeez man... this dude really had some issues. He hates his own kind? LOL! Thats like turd calling vomit smelly!
Sunil: Because of that comment, you are going to have to give it to us at HK$150.
Indian dude: Okay.
Well he didnt say okay but he gave it to us anyway for 150... and I later caught him speaking to his staff in hindi.
Day 2
We left the next morning at dawn, took the KCR(Hong Kongs equivalent to the MRT). Strange thing happened there, we were occupying two seats, but because of the luggage, the third seat was kinda blocked. The train later filled up and this dude gave up his seat to this old lady. That was a nice gesture right? Well he came over and started squeezing past us and the luggage to get to that seat(Which was pretty hard because our luggage took up quite a lot of space.) and then took a few steps back and then tried again, approaching at a faster speed now. He failed again and started turning around pointing at us and the seat and waving his hands in the air, looking like a deranged lunatic. My cousin tried moving the bags, but he just tried pushing past him again, swearing in cantonese. It was kinda irritating and rude, so my cousin was like
"If u wanna sit down, you could have just said it u moron! We would have moved it for you! Stop being such a dick!"
We finally moved the bags and he sat down, glaring at us occasionally. Then when his station approched, he got up and my cousin said bye to him... and that guy said something in cantonese which my cousin repeated to him just in case he was swearing at us. Nothing much else happened that day, we reached Shenzhen(hope its spelt correctly), then took the train to Guangzhou, he made some orders here and there, I tagged along, getting impressed by how he could fluently speak mandarin. He had the local slang as well. He was amazing I tell you!
I could understand lah what was going on... but I couldnt really converse in mandarin. We left that evening for Xijiao, Its like the textile haven of Guangzhou. Of course by the time we reached the markets were all closed. We checked in to this 3 or 4 star hotel(cant really remember), but the rates were around S$35/night. Damn cheap man! We had dinner there at the hotels restaurant, we just had like fried rice since we werent really that hungry. It was like just S$3-4 for the both of us. Amazing isnt it?
Day 3
We woke up early, went to the textile market to hunt for a particular design for curtains my cousin needed and boy we got lucky. The first shop we went to had that design. However, he didnt have stock, so we asked for a sample, and walked around and found a few stores that also had the design but sadly no stock. After walking around for hours... well just two actually but still, we finally got a store that could fly in the material the next day. We had lunch, bought some other stuff and then took a taxi back to Guangzhou for more shopping. They have a freaking huge market out there. Like all the branded stuff are like dirt cheap, and they are original too(not all of them though... gotta know how to differenciate). Since the factories are there, they get all the products cheap and sell them cheap. We went into this one store that was run by a really excited man who had a silver front tooth that he just loved showing off. Now he was really passionate about his shoes. He took a pair of shoes, and went to my cousin and started yelling in his ear. Then his wife came on the other side and started yelling too... lol... damn funny lah. Anyway, my cousin went out for a while to talk on the phone... apparently it was too loud inside.
I was in there, looking at shoes and stuff... noise level had reduced, I could finally hear the chinese dude singing(from the radio). The next moment when I turned around, I saw a blinding flash which was actually the light being reflected off the excited man's silver tooth. The dude shoved a pair of nike shoes in my face and all that I could hear was
"SHO WA YAYAYAYA WAMAMAMAMA SHING SHANG WO SHANG HAIYA!"
I swear dude... I almost pissed in my pants right there.
After a long days work, we retired to the hotel, snoozed and watched tv for a bit and then went to this indian restaurant and had indian food(DUH!). It was yummy! Feel like having it again. I made my cousin do the Goodness Gracious Me thing of sticking his finger up in the air and saying "CHECK PLEASE!". The waitress got scared and called the manager out. HAHAHA! He was like
"Yes sir can I help you?" and then my cousin was a little embarrassed and said "err... no I just want the bill"
Anyway, I shall continue with the rest of my trip tomorrow or something. Its getting very long. I hope its the longest post I've written. I really hope it is... What do you think? I think I should go on deliberating whether it is the longest post, because then it will help ensure that it is the longest post. Yes?? No?? Hmmm...
Hehe... goodnight guys. See yall soon.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Flimmakers
Hello guys... Exams are finally over and holidays are now here! WOOOHOOOO! Exams were a little disappointing. Especially for my LSM(Legal Systems and Methods). I really wanted to get an A for it, but I kinda screwed up my mindmapping section. I had to mindmap the classification of law. It wasnt as impressive as the others and I didnt do it correctly lah. Grrr!
Anyway, its holidays now!!! woohoo! I'm leaving for Hong Kong on wednesday. Will be back next monday or tuesday. Dont miss me too much alrite? *chuckles*
Im gonna keep this short(or at least try to). To make sense of what Im going to say, Im gonna have to go back a few months. I saw this audition poster on the notice board at the business school walkway. It was for Project Pilot. Project Pilot is a filmmaking competition that is open to professionals, media students and also to the public. The Film and Design third year students had to make a short film. There were five groups competing and only one would be chosen to represent TP. The winning entry would be aired on Arts Central.
So anyway, I decided to audition for it, and got the role of Avid. So I did my filming(It was really cool... I got to work with a green screen and stuff). Yeah... the rest of the filming took about a month. The other actors and the team were really awesome! It was fun working with all of them. Then the day came to present their films. I heard that their lecturers liked it a lot. Yesterday was the official screening at Brian's(one of the team member) house. They had a bbq and stuff and then we all went up to watch it. I brought Amreet and Kay along since I could invite 2 guests. It was really nice. After the screening, they broke the good news. Our movie "FLIMMAKERS" had been chosen to represent TP! Well... Its basically about a bunch of aspiring filmmakers and their aspirations and stuff. Im not gonna reveal anymore to you for two reasons.
1. I dont want to... I want yall to watch me on TV
2. My contract says that I cant reveal it to you guys. :P
Oh well... I shall keep yall updated on when Im gonna be on TV. Watch this space ladies and germs. Im goin to bed. Gdnite!
Anyway, its holidays now!!! woohoo! I'm leaving for Hong Kong on wednesday. Will be back next monday or tuesday. Dont miss me too much alrite? *chuckles*
Im gonna keep this short(or at least try to). To make sense of what Im going to say, Im gonna have to go back a few months. I saw this audition poster on the notice board at the business school walkway. It was for Project Pilot. Project Pilot is a filmmaking competition that is open to professionals, media students and also to the public. The Film and Design third year students had to make a short film. There were five groups competing and only one would be chosen to represent TP. The winning entry would be aired on Arts Central.
So anyway, I decided to audition for it, and got the role of Avid. So I did my filming(It was really cool... I got to work with a green screen and stuff). Yeah... the rest of the filming took about a month. The other actors and the team were really awesome! It was fun working with all of them. Then the day came to present their films. I heard that their lecturers liked it a lot. Yesterday was the official screening at Brian's(one of the team member) house. They had a bbq and stuff and then we all went up to watch it. I brought Amreet and Kay along since I could invite 2 guests. It was really nice. After the screening, they broke the good news. Our movie "FLIMMAKERS" had been chosen to represent TP! Well... Its basically about a bunch of aspiring filmmakers and their aspirations and stuff. Im not gonna reveal anymore to you for two reasons.
1. I dont want to... I want yall to watch me on TV
2. My contract says that I cant reveal it to you guys. :P
Oh well... I shall keep yall updated on when Im gonna be on TV. Watch this space ladies and germs. Im goin to bed. Gdnite!
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