Help!! Crocs Are Taking Over Singapore!!!

Hello again dear citizens. I am afraid that I have to break some very sad news. Crocs have invaded Singapore. It doesn't stop there folks... they are multiplying rapidly and killing the fashion sense of regular normal people like you and me. It is not known when they first infiltrated local boundaries, experts have only managed to come up with speculations and although there is no definite answer, the general timeframe has been set at around 4-6 months ago.

A few of you lucky people who have not had any contact whatsoever with crocs may at this point be wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Crocs are these little ugly things that attach themselves to your feet. They come in a whole spectrum of colours and have lots of holes in them. They 'feel' really comfortable, but its really just its way of manipulating the person wearing them before jumping up and ripping a huge hole through your pocket, with such speed and precision that it feels painless really, before attaching itself onto your feet again, like some ugly, holey, weird coloured leech.

Be warned, these crocs are HIGHLY DANGEROUS. Please DO NOT touch them under any circumstances. The soft, rubbery feel is very enticing and it has a very sweet coaxing tongue. If for whatever reasons, you happen to touch a croc, keep repeating "I wont allow ugliness to attach itself unto me."

Meanwhile, we are setting up an emergency relief division, CATOS (Crocs Are Taking Over Singapore). If you feel that you might have fallen prey to a croc, or you know anyone who has, please call our 24hr, toll free hotline at 1800-Kill-A-Croc.

Singapore... be vigilant. Thank you.



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Priya this post was especially for you. Call the hotline immediately.

PS: The writer of this article did not intend to defame anyone or anything, and if he did so, he would like to claim automatism. He was trying to type a post about love but suddenly suffered from a sudden seizure and his fingers hit on random keys. The entire post was therefore made out involuntarily. If the random hitting of keys formed any comprehensible sentences, it is purely out of coincidence. Arrrghh here comes another seizure.... adhaugdauhduahd sufauihd.