The Eagle and the Bollywood Actors

Once upon a time, there was an eagle. His name was Alfred Mavelpick Constantine Moralles Jr. He was from the land of Lappity Lap. So anyway, he was in Singapore for a short holiday. He was flying past High Street and then saw a filming taking place. It was for a hindi movie and it was starring Hrithik Roshan. He was a little hungry and spotted the hair on Hrithik Roshans back. He swooped down and with an almighty snap of his beak, tore off all the exposed hair on his back.


The End.

Just kiddin... Lots of things happened to me in the last two days. Yesterday I was at my uncles shop at Peninsula, helping him move some stuff outta the office. There was this other guy Faraz there too. We had to bring some stuff over to the store which was a few blocks away. Now on our way back, we saw this old man slumped against a stone bench outside Petals. We were looking at him and then Faraz suggested we ask him if he is alright. So we did just that, but he seemed to be only semi-conscious. He tried getting up, but he just couldnt lift himself up. His arms were shaving violently everytime he attempted to. So we just looked at each other and were like wtf? So we helped him get up and sit on the bench and then he signalled for some water which faraz went to get. After a drink of water, he slipped in and out of consciousness, and then finally slumped back down on the floor. We called the ambulance and them waited for like half an hour for them because they FORGOT! Imagine that man! Jeez lets all take good care of ourselves so that we never need the services of ambulances. I mean what the hell man??? Imagine you are dying in some weird corner of Singapore, trusting that an ambulance is on its way and is going to arrive very soon and those blokes back there are having doughnuts and deliberating on which team to bet on for the nights match... or something like that.

So anyway, after the police man arrived (Yes he arrived before the ambulance), me and Faraz went to see Hrithik Roshan and Priyanka Chopra(Bollywood actors) at high street. They were shooting in Singapore. Hrithik looked a little gay... Priyanka was alrite lah.

Oh and btw. I saw an eagle today. It was really awesome man... I was on my way back to Peninsula after delivering some goods at Beach Rd. I was on the bus, sitting quietly, watching some old bloke dig his nose and examine his boogey before he wiped it on his singlet with great intent. Just then, Jimmy the cricket(My conscience) appeared and said in a little wee voice.
"Yo mother-BLEEP!! You gonna put me to sleep by drowning me in booze again??! You disgusting old sonnawabeesh!!! Oh and by tha way, look outta tha window dawg! Ya mite see some shit you like. Aight! Im outta here bitch!".

And with that, my conscience Jimmy the cricket vanished. I kinda miss him. He hasnt been appearing much lately. Sigh! Anyway, I did just what he told me to. At first I saw nothing, but then I saw something above me moving. I looked up and saw that someone's hand was against the window outside. There probably was someone on the roof of the bus, trying to get attention or something. Jeez... attention seekers! But anyway it's a good thing I looked up, because I caught a glimpse of something flying in the air. It was descending fast. Could it be superman? Or an alien spaceship? Or perhaps even a bird????

Well, as you probably already guessed, it was a birdy. But what kinda birdy was it? Was it a little sparrow, flying home to mummy to tell her about all the people she shat on? Or maybe one of those little yellow birds?(Im not racist, nor generalising... actually I am. Most yellow birds are small.Hehehe!). Well, to my utter amazement, it was an eagle! A real live eagle I tell you! It was flapping its wings and flying around in the sky, I stared at it for like 5seconds and then realised that it would soon be gone. So I started waving frantically at it. Hoping... Preying(hehehe) that it would see me with its super birds eye capability. It did... or at least I think so. Mr E.Gerl cocked its head to the side, as though he was peering at me, sizing me up from way up there. I think he knew that I was trying to say hi so he started flapping ONE of his wings, (He was gliding for a while) which was facing my direction! How cool is that huh? I think thats the highlight of my day. Oh and about 10seconds later, I heard a gunshot. Which could only mean two things

1. Someone shot the eagle
2. Another murder has taken place in Singapore

Man... I really hope the eagle is fine. Oh and I had just brought out a trolley stacked with boxes out of the office at Peninsula, when this Punjabi man in his 60s walked towards me. I looked at him and smiled and he started alking to me in Punjabi and I was like I dont speak Punjabi. So he spoke to me in Hindi, which I replied to in a mix of broken hindi and english. Finally he realised that I was a dumb moron and spoke to me in English. He said "Hard physical labour is good for you. It will come in handy when you are older. I used to do a lot of hard work too! Look at me!!"
Then he thrusted his big bulging belly out and grinned. I mumbled something that went along the lines of

"Wow! I wanna be just like you when Im older. Fat and full of bullshit!" Haha. I just realised that Im very mean in this post. Hmm... no lah I dint say that. That guy was a nice chap. No hard feelings dude!

Anyway, Im off to sleep. Goodnight and goodbye!