Hello people... You guys might be wondering why Im writing this during tutorial right? Well... I like the thrill. Dont judge me! I mean... some people like stealing, some people like having sex in the cinema... I just like blogging during my CSA(Computer Systems Applications) lab session...
*Pause*
Oops sorry... my tutor was asking me about broadband connections. Anyway, Im kinda bored man... half my class has already switched off. My friend Dominic is surfing some Taliban website. Jeez man that guy is a bit cracked in the head. I realised I havent wrote about my new school yet, so here is a little insight.
First of all, classes are pretty interesting, except for MicroEcons. The subject is like super dry man... and all those weird curves and stuff are killing me. To top it all off, my tutor adopts a rather unconventional way of teaching. Heres what happened during my first tutorial with him.
Him: So... little boy(looking at me)... lets take sand for example. Is it scarce?
Me: Well... it depends lah...(cuts me off)
Him: No! try again... Is it scarce or not?
Me: Well I dont think so... we dont really.......................
Him: NooOooOOooOOOoooOoooOOOOOoooo!(glares at me)
Me: Oh ok... im sorry
Him: NO! its ok to make mistakes... you dont have to apologise.(continues glaring at me)
Jeez man... that was a really scary experience. I almost shat myself... Uh oh... gotta go work on my project now... I shall see yall when I see yall. Adioz.
PS:
Phrase of the day: If a blind man could see... he wouldnt be blind would he?
Monday, June 20, 2005
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Injustice
I am so extremely pissed off right now. I was in IRC, trying to download some music from those servers. I was in #teens, because I had to be in at least one channel the server was on. So I was nicely minding my own business, looking at the song list of the server, when suddenly I got kicked and banned from that channel by some moron called Ikuko(Apparently, he really is a kuku). At first I thought maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he meant to kick someone else whose nick was similar to mine, so I msgd him and asked him what was going on. Then he pasted part of a conversation(which I never had) with some B**** (who I dont even know). Apparently, I asked her if she wanted to have sex with me. He kicked and banned me because of that. When I saw that, I got really pissed off. Not because I was kicked and banned, but because he blindly accepted whatever she said as the truth. and completely disregarded what I said in my defence. I mean, what a complete idiot that guy is, allowing himself to be manipulated like that. I was also very pissed off with him, because it painted a false picture, illustrating the intelligence of men. Anyway, I bet he probably is trying to get himself into her good books by u know sucking up to her by doing whatever she says and he is probably the one with ulterior motives. Stupid sucker.
I remembered the last time I got this upset. It was during my Law orientation abt 2 weeks ago. We were playing whacko to break the 'ice' and the rule was that if someone becomes the person who has to whack people 3 times, they will have to do a forfeit. So the game went on for a while, until this girl had to do the forfeit. It was a really simple forfeit also lah just do some chicken dance or smthin... anyway, she was like really shy and refused to do it. So, to get her to do the forfeit, the seniors said "Ok lah... since u are so shy, we will let u choose someone to do the forfeit with you." She chose this guy sitting beside me. I already felt a little irritated, because that guy didnt deserve to do the forfeit, so I asked them why should he have to do it, when it isnt his forfeit. It doesnt make sense does it? Then they were like aiyah... its not you so why u defending him. At that point I wasnt very disturbed yet... the guy was pretty willing to do it anyway. It was after the whole thing was over and I was going to Changi Village, that I began thinking about it. I mean, why did he have to do it? She was supposed to do it, because she crossed the limit. It wasnt his fault that she had to do the forfeit. Oh and what about that guy? He just decided to accept the forfeit imposed upon him.
This is really scary, because it happens in all levels in Singapore. From the government, right down to the grassroots. We dont believe in defending ones rights, and letting them have a say. Whats the point of a democracy, when you cannot even fight for your own rights? When you are considered guilty until proven innocent? I used to think that it was just a differenciation in the ideologies of the generation and that it would change as a newer generation emerges. I thought that perhaps there would be an evolution in the mindsets of us Singaporeans. Perhaps there is... but perhaps we are just too afraid of taking action.
I remembered the last time I got this upset. It was during my Law orientation abt 2 weeks ago. We were playing whacko to break the 'ice' and the rule was that if someone becomes the person who has to whack people 3 times, they will have to do a forfeit. So the game went on for a while, until this girl had to do the forfeit. It was a really simple forfeit also lah just do some chicken dance or smthin... anyway, she was like really shy and refused to do it. So, to get her to do the forfeit, the seniors said "Ok lah... since u are so shy, we will let u choose someone to do the forfeit with you." She chose this guy sitting beside me. I already felt a little irritated, because that guy didnt deserve to do the forfeit, so I asked them why should he have to do it, when it isnt his forfeit. It doesnt make sense does it? Then they were like aiyah... its not you so why u defending him. At that point I wasnt very disturbed yet... the guy was pretty willing to do it anyway. It was after the whole thing was over and I was going to Changi Village, that I began thinking about it. I mean, why did he have to do it? She was supposed to do it, because she crossed the limit. It wasnt his fault that she had to do the forfeit. Oh and what about that guy? He just decided to accept the forfeit imposed upon him.
This is really scary, because it happens in all levels in Singapore. From the government, right down to the grassroots. We dont believe in defending ones rights, and letting them have a say. Whats the point of a democracy, when you cannot even fight for your own rights? When you are considered guilty until proven innocent? I used to think that it was just a differenciation in the ideologies of the generation and that it would change as a newer generation emerges. I thought that perhaps there would be an evolution in the mindsets of us Singaporeans. Perhaps there is... but perhaps we are just too afraid of taking action.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The same old,brand new me
Hey Guys... I was checking out all my previous posts and realised that I had one draft that I had not completed and published yet. I wrote it a long time back. Sometime in February I think. Anyway, here it is.
Hello morons! Shit! I meant audience! Really sorry it came out all wrong, and I have already typed too much to backspace :P hehehe. Anywayz How have you guys been doing? *waits for response*
Gdgd! nice to hear. Anyway, back to my post. I have been feeling down the past few days, because of my job. I feel I always get stuck in a crappy job. What is God trying to tell me? Don't work? Or perhaps to find myself a sugarmom. Hmm that would be interesting. Actually I wanna go into the entertainment sector. I wanna be like an actor, or a comedian, or a clown, or a DJ or some shit like that, where I have fun at what I do. I dont wanna be some1 mediocre like all of you. I dont wanna be "Normal". I wasnt born normal(Seriously I wasnt) and I shouldn't remain normal. Im not saying its bad to be normal. I was actually thinking of being a stand-up comedian like Kumar, or Hossan Leong. I mean after all Kumar is leaving the business. However, I remembered that I wasn't funny. That realisation brought my dreams to a crashing... crash. :What an expression to use eh! I hope my ex-English teacher isnt reading. She probably isnt but you never know... many teachers lead double lives.
Well, what else do I say? Valentines day is coming. I hate that day. Stupid crappy shitty day. Stupid couples wasting their stupid money on each-stupid-other. Then millions of poor helpless roses and other flowers are KILLED, just for some stupid morons to show their "love" for each other. After a few days the plants wither away. Thats not very convincing, if it is used to express ones love for another. Its like saying. "To show how much I love you, Im giving you a dead plant, that will decompose in a few days and start stinking up the room." I mean why dont you give her something that will remain with him or her for the rest of her life? Like maybe a scar on the forehead, like Harry Potter's. It was because of his parents love that he received that scar. Perhaps a baby? That would last for a long time too.
Thats an expression of love. Making a baby, or buying one of those unwanted ones. Anyway, back to my woes. As I was saying I wanna be an entertainer. Well, I cant sing, I cant dance, So what else can I do? I can act, I can make people laugh(Well at least I think I can) so it all adds up to one thing. Being a stand-up comedian.
Im supposed to say something funny now, but I really cant think of anything funny at this point of time because Im continuing this post from Feb... its June now. Can you imagine? Time flies so fast. As Kermit the frog says... Time is fun when youre having flies. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hey that wasnt too bad for starters right? I can just picture you... my audience, laughing hysterically at the joke I just cracked... holding your sides as you double up with uncontrollable laughter that goes on and on... I just remembered something...I have to go read up for my lecture tomorrow.
Bye ladies.
Hello morons! Shit! I meant audience! Really sorry it came out all wrong, and I have already typed too much to backspace :P hehehe. Anywayz How have you guys been doing? *waits for response*
Gdgd! nice to hear. Anyway, back to my post. I have been feeling down the past few days, because of my job. I feel I always get stuck in a crappy job. What is God trying to tell me? Don't work? Or perhaps to find myself a sugarmom. Hmm that would be interesting. Actually I wanna go into the entertainment sector. I wanna be like an actor, or a comedian, or a clown, or a DJ or some shit like that, where I have fun at what I do. I dont wanna be some1 mediocre like all of you. I dont wanna be "Normal". I wasnt born normal(Seriously I wasnt) and I shouldn't remain normal. Im not saying its bad to be normal. I was actually thinking of being a stand-up comedian like Kumar, or Hossan Leong. I mean after all Kumar is leaving the business. However, I remembered that I wasn't funny. That realisation brought my dreams to a crashing... crash. :What an expression to use eh! I hope my ex-English teacher isnt reading. She probably isnt but you never know... many teachers lead double lives.
Well, what else do I say? Valentines day is coming. I hate that day. Stupid crappy shitty day. Stupid couples wasting their stupid money on each-stupid-other. Then millions of poor helpless roses and other flowers are KILLED, just for some stupid morons to show their "love" for each other. After a few days the plants wither away. Thats not very convincing, if it is used to express ones love for another. Its like saying. "To show how much I love you, Im giving you a dead plant, that will decompose in a few days and start stinking up the room." I mean why dont you give her something that will remain with him or her for the rest of her life? Like maybe a scar on the forehead, like Harry Potter's. It was because of his parents love that he received that scar. Perhaps a baby? That would last for a long time too.
Thats an expression of love. Making a baby, or buying one of those unwanted ones. Anyway, back to my woes. As I was saying I wanna be an entertainer. Well, I cant sing, I cant dance, So what else can I do? I can act, I can make people laugh(Well at least I think I can) so it all adds up to one thing. Being a stand-up comedian.
Im supposed to say something funny now, but I really cant think of anything funny at this point of time because Im continuing this post from Feb... its June now. Can you imagine? Time flies so fast. As Kermit the frog says... Time is fun when youre having flies. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hey that wasnt too bad for starters right? I can just picture you... my audience, laughing hysterically at the joke I just cracked... holding your sides as you double up with uncontrollable laughter that goes on and on... I just remembered something...I have to go read up for my lecture tomorrow.
Bye ladies.
Monday, May 23, 2005
The Dream
Hello ladies... I just had a really weird dream. Well to think abt it, that goes without saying I guess. I mean all dreams are quite weird. Anyway, it went like this. I was suddenly working in a 7-11 store that was strangely enough run by my aunt n uncle. The weird thing is, there was no mashed potato machine in there. I was a bit puzzled by this at first. I mean arent all 7-11's supposed to have mashed potato machines? Suddenly I was left alone in the store. All alone and I didnt even know what to do! So I helped myself to a couple of doughnuts and read the FHM magazines. I was really lucky, cuz nobody came in. Then I grew really bored and decided that I wanna get outta there, so I just finished up my doughnut and walked out of there(Leaving the 7-11 store completely unattended by the way!). I walked down a blue stairway, and realised that I was in my primary school. Weird rite??!!! So I walked around my old school, reflecting on my younger days, and then a bird suddenly appeared and started singing my school song to me. I was a little puzzled, but I figured I should just sing along with the bird, then maybe try to trick it into getting into a sack! HEHE! Then I could sell it off to some circus or smthin and become rich. So we sang together and hugged each other after that. The bird seemed like a nice guy. He told me that he used to fly above us during morning assembly with his friends and occasionally poop on my ex-principles shiny head. Then we went to the canteen/hall together and relived those wonderful days of playing catching with our respective friends. I told him about a really funny incident that happened during reccess a couple of years back.
We were playing soccer with a tennis ball on a badminton court near the canteen, behind the toilets,
(The toilets were fashioned in such a way that there was an opening at the top. There were just walls around the toilets... so one could actually climb in if you had a stool to help you. So the toilets were partitioned with another wall in-between them. The girls toilet and the boys toilet.)
when suddenly my friend kicked the ball up really high by accident and it went into the girls toilet. After staring at each other for a while, not knowing what to do, we went to the entrance of the girls toilet and waited for a girl to walk past so that we could ask her to retrieve our tennis ball. You guys are never gonna guess what happened next! This girl frm my class, her name is Jessica. I think shes a model now. Anyway, she emerged outta the toilet crying and rubbing her head and in her hand was our tennis ball. It was kinda funny lah... I mean what were the odds of that happening right? We started the pointing fingers ritual, managed to get the ball back from her and went back to play soccer. That was really wicked man!
The bird was at that moment wiping his tears with his fingers... feathers... whatever. We were laughing so hard and slapping each others backs.
Before I knew it, I was back in the 7-11 again. This time my aunt n uncle were back there. This dude came in and took some powdery stuff from a bottle and put it into the Mashed Potato Cup® and poured hot water into it and it became Mashed Potato! and then he did the same with the gravy... then he came up to me and asked "How much?"
then I replied "That will be a dollar."
Then he said "I only have 50cents."
then I replied "Why?"
then he said "Because... thats how much I have in my pocket u moron!"
then I said "But it costs a dollar."
then he said "But I dont have a dollar. I have 50cents."
then I said "But... But... It costs a dollar."
then he said "Ok I have 50cents... take it or leave it."
then I said "Oh! Alrite! Ill take ure 50cents!"
He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out two twenty cent coins and places it on the table.
I said "Ermm... thats 40cents sir."
then he says "Errrrrr.... Yeaaah. Thank You!"
Then, like how all nightmares end, I heard a distant voice asking in Sindhi
"What time does your school start?"
I saw black for a few seconds, which was probably the transition from the sub-conscious to conscious mind. I opened my eyes and realised my grandma was asking me what time I had to go to school. To which I replied four o clock. Then I turned over and smiled, thinking of the talking bird... and then suddenly I started getting bombarded with SMS's from various people for various reasons.
PS: Sorry for not blogging for a while... my com has been down. Bye for now!
We were playing soccer with a tennis ball on a badminton court near the canteen, behind the toilets,
(The toilets were fashioned in such a way that there was an opening at the top. There were just walls around the toilets... so one could actually climb in if you had a stool to help you. So the toilets were partitioned with another wall in-between them. The girls toilet and the boys toilet.)
when suddenly my friend kicked the ball up really high by accident and it went into the girls toilet. After staring at each other for a while, not knowing what to do, we went to the entrance of the girls toilet and waited for a girl to walk past so that we could ask her to retrieve our tennis ball. You guys are never gonna guess what happened next! This girl frm my class, her name is Jessica. I think shes a model now. Anyway, she emerged outta the toilet crying and rubbing her head and in her hand was our tennis ball. It was kinda funny lah... I mean what were the odds of that happening right? We started the pointing fingers ritual, managed to get the ball back from her and went back to play soccer. That was really wicked man!
The bird was at that moment wiping his tears with his fingers... feathers... whatever. We were laughing so hard and slapping each others backs.
Before I knew it, I was back in the 7-11 again. This time my aunt n uncle were back there. This dude came in and took some powdery stuff from a bottle and put it into the Mashed Potato Cup® and poured hot water into it and it became Mashed Potato! and then he did the same with the gravy... then he came up to me and asked "How much?"
then I replied "That will be a dollar."
Then he said "I only have 50cents."
then I replied "Why?"
then he said "Because... thats how much I have in my pocket u moron!"
then I said "But it costs a dollar."
then he said "But I dont have a dollar. I have 50cents."
then I said "But... But... It costs a dollar."
then he said "Ok I have 50cents... take it or leave it."
then I said "Oh! Alrite! Ill take ure 50cents!"
He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out two twenty cent coins and places it on the table.
I said "Ermm... thats 40cents sir."
then he says "Errrrrr.... Yeaaah. Thank You!"
Then, like how all nightmares end, I heard a distant voice asking in Sindhi
"What time does your school start?"
I saw black for a few seconds, which was probably the transition from the sub-conscious to conscious mind. I opened my eyes and realised my grandma was asking me what time I had to go to school. To which I replied four o clock. Then I turned over and smiled, thinking of the talking bird... and then suddenly I started getting bombarded with SMS's from various people for various reasons.
PS: Sorry for not blogging for a while... my com has been down. Bye for now!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
The adventures of Loser Guy
Ladies and Germs... Heres the much anticipated debut of..... *Drum Roll* Loser Guy!!!
INTRODUCTION
Loser Guy's real name is Ronald Giovani. He is 15 this year and suffers from several mental conditions that arose as a result of his parents sudden death. Hes actualy indian, but both his parents died in some sort of a attack that happened while attending a self defense class in Russia. He was then adopted by an Italian head of a mob expat living in Singapore(They are expanding).
Okay so this is how it all happened. Ronalds real parents had to move to Russia for a year on work basis. They settled down in a little house, the three of them lived merrily for a while, until his parents saw someone get mugged in the street. They became a little uptight and decided to enroll for self-defense classes. Being kenjus(stingy) indians, they enrolled for the cheapest course that was conducted at a run down gymnasium. I just realised I havent introduced his parents to you. Mr Lallumal was a really fat, pudgy man who looked very much like the cross between a giant bull-dog and a fat sloppy turd. His mom was no better. She looked like a overfed penguin which had botox injected into her left nostril. Okay back to the story. Their instructers were really frauds who just had muscular bodies. They walked in the room and introduced themselves. Their names were Skirovsky and Smirnoff.
The transcript has been translated into English for the convenience of you readers.
Excercise One...
Skirovsky: Okay Excercise one will be STRETCHING. Face in same direction and bend your partner over and lean on them from behind and PUSH them... like this
** Skirovsky bends Smirnoff over and pushes against his backside.
Smirnoff: This is called the Doggy bend. You try.
** Everyone tries doing it.
Skirovsky: Come on you moloviterns(Morons) push harder.
Exercise Two
Skirovsky: This is called the Neutralising your Opponent. You invite your opponent to punch you...
** Smirnoff attempts to punch him but Skirovsky grabs his hand
Skirovsky: You punch your opponent in the bridge of his nose,
** He punches Smirnoffs face with all his might
Skirovsky: Then you throw him on the floor and kick his nuts repeatedly
** He does just that.
Exercise Three
Smirnoff: This is called the Dealing with Purse Snatchers. Lets say you are walking...
** walks on the spot
Smirnoff: Then a guy comes up from behind and grabs ure purse
** Skirovsky comes from behind and grabs his shoulder(For demonstrations sake)
Smirnoff: You bend under your legs, grab the thiefs leg, and yank it really hard so that he falls and hits his head on the concrete floor.
** Grabs Skirovsky's leg and yanks it so that he falls with a terrific thud on the floor.
Smirnoff: You turn around and start kicking his stomach.
** Does just that repeatedly, making Skirovsky spit blood out.
Smirnoff: Now ve need the volunteer. You come here you fat ugly man. Show us what you learn.
**Mr Lallumal walks up, his knees trembling slightly. and positions himself and walks on the spot.
** Skirovsky goes up from behind and grabs his shoulder. Mr Lallumal tries reaching under his legs for Skirovsky's leg but ends up splitting his track pants and farting loudly.
Smirnoff: STOP! STAND UP you fat ugly man.
**Mr Lallumal stands straight up and grins embarrasingly.
Smirnoff: You stupid iziot! You think I funny? You think I clown?
**Smirnoff slaps Mr Lallumal repeatedly, yelling vulgarities at him.
Exercise Four
Skirovsky: Excercise three... I mean four. Stupid marijuana make me no concentrate. This called Neutralizing Fat Man.
Skirovsky: Step one, invite fat man to punch you.
**Signals to Mr lallumal to punch him.
**Mr Lallumal throws a soft punch at him, but Skirovsky catches his fist and twists really hard and delivers a really hard kick to Mr lallumals knee cap, bringing him to the floor.
Skirovsky: Now you bring fat ugly man to floor and grab his leg and do the sharpshooter to him.
** Skirovsky goes on to do that while Smirnoff pulls Mr Lallumals hair and slaps him repeatedly.
Skirovsky: Then when fat man piss all over himself, you stand up and step and kick him around.
** Skirovsky and Smirnoff start kicking him in his nuts,face and stomach.
Smirnoff: Okay fat ugly man you can go back now thank you.
** Mr Lallumal manages to get up and walks two paces then drops dead.
Smirnoff: Aiyaiyai What is zis??? HEY FAT UGLY MAN! GET UP!
** Skirovsky kicks him lightly.
Skirovsky: Step five, RUN!
** The duo run out from the gymnasium and head for the car. Mrs Lallumal runs out as well, searching for a payphone to call the ambulance but gets run over by the two while trying to make a getaway.
There you have it. The tragic introduction of LOSER GUY!
** The Russian part of this story was adapted from Whatever Things by MTV. But I changed it to fit my story.
INTRODUCTION
Loser Guy's real name is Ronald Giovani. He is 15 this year and suffers from several mental conditions that arose as a result of his parents sudden death. Hes actualy indian, but both his parents died in some sort of a attack that happened while attending a self defense class in Russia. He was then adopted by an Italian head of a mob expat living in Singapore(They are expanding).
Okay so this is how it all happened. Ronalds real parents had to move to Russia for a year on work basis. They settled down in a little house, the three of them lived merrily for a while, until his parents saw someone get mugged in the street. They became a little uptight and decided to enroll for self-defense classes. Being kenjus(stingy) indians, they enrolled for the cheapest course that was conducted at a run down gymnasium. I just realised I havent introduced his parents to you. Mr Lallumal was a really fat, pudgy man who looked very much like the cross between a giant bull-dog and a fat sloppy turd. His mom was no better. She looked like a overfed penguin which had botox injected into her left nostril. Okay back to the story. Their instructers were really frauds who just had muscular bodies. They walked in the room and introduced themselves. Their names were Skirovsky and Smirnoff.
The transcript has been translated into English for the convenience of you readers.
Excercise One...
Skirovsky: Okay Excercise one will be STRETCHING. Face in same direction and bend your partner over and lean on them from behind and PUSH them... like this
** Skirovsky bends Smirnoff over and pushes against his backside.
Smirnoff: This is called the Doggy bend. You try.
** Everyone tries doing it.
Skirovsky: Come on you moloviterns(Morons) push harder.
Exercise Two
Skirovsky: This is called the Neutralising your Opponent. You invite your opponent to punch you...
** Smirnoff attempts to punch him but Skirovsky grabs his hand
Skirovsky: You punch your opponent in the bridge of his nose,
** He punches Smirnoffs face with all his might
Skirovsky: Then you throw him on the floor and kick his nuts repeatedly
** He does just that.
Exercise Three
Smirnoff: This is called the Dealing with Purse Snatchers. Lets say you are walking...
** walks on the spot
Smirnoff: Then a guy comes up from behind and grabs ure purse
** Skirovsky comes from behind and grabs his shoulder(For demonstrations sake)
Smirnoff: You bend under your legs, grab the thiefs leg, and yank it really hard so that he falls and hits his head on the concrete floor.
** Grabs Skirovsky's leg and yanks it so that he falls with a terrific thud on the floor.
Smirnoff: You turn around and start kicking his stomach.
** Does just that repeatedly, making Skirovsky spit blood out.
Smirnoff: Now ve need the volunteer. You come here you fat ugly man. Show us what you learn.
**Mr Lallumal walks up, his knees trembling slightly. and positions himself and walks on the spot.
** Skirovsky goes up from behind and grabs his shoulder. Mr Lallumal tries reaching under his legs for Skirovsky's leg but ends up splitting his track pants and farting loudly.
Smirnoff: STOP! STAND UP you fat ugly man.
**Mr Lallumal stands straight up and grins embarrasingly.
Smirnoff: You stupid iziot! You think I funny? You think I clown?
**Smirnoff slaps Mr Lallumal repeatedly, yelling vulgarities at him.
Exercise Four
Skirovsky: Excercise three... I mean four. Stupid marijuana make me no concentrate. This called Neutralizing Fat Man.
Skirovsky: Step one, invite fat man to punch you.
**Signals to Mr lallumal to punch him.
**Mr Lallumal throws a soft punch at him, but Skirovsky catches his fist and twists really hard and delivers a really hard kick to Mr lallumals knee cap, bringing him to the floor.
Skirovsky: Now you bring fat ugly man to floor and grab his leg and do the sharpshooter to him.
** Skirovsky goes on to do that while Smirnoff pulls Mr Lallumals hair and slaps him repeatedly.
Skirovsky: Then when fat man piss all over himself, you stand up and step and kick him around.
** Skirovsky and Smirnoff start kicking him in his nuts,face and stomach.
Smirnoff: Okay fat ugly man you can go back now thank you.
** Mr Lallumal manages to get up and walks two paces then drops dead.
Smirnoff: Aiyaiyai What is zis??? HEY FAT UGLY MAN! GET UP!
** Skirovsky kicks him lightly.
Skirovsky: Step five, RUN!
** The duo run out from the gymnasium and head for the car. Mrs Lallumal runs out as well, searching for a payphone to call the ambulance but gets run over by the two while trying to make a getaway.
There you have it. The tragic introduction of LOSER GUY!
** The Russian part of this story was adapted from Whatever Things by MTV. But I changed it to fit my story.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
A tangled web I weaved
Hey guys. Just came home from my Satsang(Prayers). I kinda realised how much I owe to it. I told myself that I would not speak of religion here in my blog because religion is a sensitive issue and I understand that what I believe in may not be shared by other individuals. First of all, this post is not entirely about religion, but rather a look at life. First of all, I would like to say that I dont actually have a religion. Its more towards a philosophy of life perhaps a mission even. One thing we learnt is not to discriminate other religions, or to judge them. Im really thankful for that. This is what I have learnt and as far as I can remember I believe in. Every religion is correct. You cant say that this and this religion is false because it doesnt corroborate with a particular one. Honestly, I cant seem to understand why certain religions claim that they only are correct and that everything else is false. Again, Im not judging or criticising, just trying to understand. Look at it this way. Supposing three divers dived into the ocean. The first goes to the seabed, the second somewhere in the middle and the third just near the surface. After a while they all come back up and submit their reports on what they saw. Obviously they would have seen different things because they looked at different parts of the ocean. Can you say that either one of them is wrong?
In that aspect, religion is like the ocean and its just how you look at it. In what perspective you look at it. Looking at it in a different perspective doesnt make you or another wrong. Its sad to see so much conflicts arising from religion. Differences in religion. All these conflicts arising just because people think that they are right and others are wrong. Intolerance for difference. Why cant we accept the fact that people are entitled to being different. I myself am a victim of this intolerance. I was thinking about a friend of mine who was an atheist and I felt like he was wrong. Thats the problem with us. We want everyone to be just like us. To believe in what we believe in. Well it is very close to impossibility. What is much easier to achieve, is to just accept that different people hold different views and beliefs and respect that.
We have been given the intelect. The ability to question why and that is the first step to answering it. If you cant ask why then you cant answer it in the first place. Now I guess we are all on a journey to answer that question. Why. After all these years when we realise that other people have collected different "materials" to help answer their WHY question, I guess we cant accept it. Perhaps thats the reason. We dont want to feel like we are wrong, or that there is more than one way to answer it because we have already spent a long time developing our formula to solve our equation. However, like in maths, there are several methods to solve an equation.
Anyway, while I was sitting down during my prayers, I began thinking of an article I read recently about a scientist who had always been an atheist all his life until recently. He said that he had come to accept that a supernatural being must have created the beginning. Then I began thinking that he was rather dumb. I mean it took him like fifty years to realise that when other people take five minutes to question it. You just gotta trace back. What created the universe? The Big Bang. What initiated the Big Bang? etc. Then when you cant find any other answers you gotta ask yourself "So what was it?"
I read a book "The Alchemist" it was a beautiful book about a boy who left his home because he wanted to become a shepherd and travel all over and see the world. A few years later he had a recurring dream about finding some treasure. He met someone who convinced him to sell off his herd and go to Egypt to find the treasure. He does that and goes to Egypt an encounters several misfortunes, however when he reaches near his destination, somewhere in the deserts, he meets an Alchemist who teaches him about life and the universe. Now here is the interesting part. He is told that when you truly desire something with all your heart, then the whole world conspires in helping you achieve it. The Alchemist reveals to him that this is possible because everything is connected to each other. It is like a huge network. He calls the connection "The soul of the universe".
In conclusion, to add things up, since we all derived from the same origin, the soul of the world must exist. Its hard to believe, but perhaps that is what is moving the universe. That is what is powering the universe. The soul of the world. Goodnight
In that aspect, religion is like the ocean and its just how you look at it. In what perspective you look at it. Looking at it in a different perspective doesnt make you or another wrong. Its sad to see so much conflicts arising from religion. Differences in religion. All these conflicts arising just because people think that they are right and others are wrong. Intolerance for difference. Why cant we accept the fact that people are entitled to being different. I myself am a victim of this intolerance. I was thinking about a friend of mine who was an atheist and I felt like he was wrong. Thats the problem with us. We want everyone to be just like us. To believe in what we believe in. Well it is very close to impossibility. What is much easier to achieve, is to just accept that different people hold different views and beliefs and respect that.
We have been given the intelect. The ability to question why and that is the first step to answering it. If you cant ask why then you cant answer it in the first place. Now I guess we are all on a journey to answer that question. Why. After all these years when we realise that other people have collected different "materials" to help answer their WHY question, I guess we cant accept it. Perhaps thats the reason. We dont want to feel like we are wrong, or that there is more than one way to answer it because we have already spent a long time developing our formula to solve our equation. However, like in maths, there are several methods to solve an equation.
Anyway, while I was sitting down during my prayers, I began thinking of an article I read recently about a scientist who had always been an atheist all his life until recently. He said that he had come to accept that a supernatural being must have created the beginning. Then I began thinking that he was rather dumb. I mean it took him like fifty years to realise that when other people take five minutes to question it. You just gotta trace back. What created the universe? The Big Bang. What initiated the Big Bang? etc. Then when you cant find any other answers you gotta ask yourself "So what was it?"
I read a book "The Alchemist" it was a beautiful book about a boy who left his home because he wanted to become a shepherd and travel all over and see the world. A few years later he had a recurring dream about finding some treasure. He met someone who convinced him to sell off his herd and go to Egypt to find the treasure. He does that and goes to Egypt an encounters several misfortunes, however when he reaches near his destination, somewhere in the deserts, he meets an Alchemist who teaches him about life and the universe. Now here is the interesting part. He is told that when you truly desire something with all your heart, then the whole world conspires in helping you achieve it. The Alchemist reveals to him that this is possible because everything is connected to each other. It is like a huge network. He calls the connection "The soul of the universe".
In conclusion, to add things up, since we all derived from the same origin, the soul of the world must exist. Its hard to believe, but perhaps that is what is moving the universe. That is what is powering the universe. The soul of the world. Goodnight
Friday, April 15, 2005
The Sleepy Bus
Hello Poopsies. Today was relatively happening. I went to the Airport to see my Grandma and Aunt off. They left for Brunei on invitation by the Sultan dude thinggy. Anyway, they were severely overweight. I mean their luggage so they kena pay $166 dollars. What a waste of money. I went down to Changi V to open the shop. It was kinda boring since I was alone. Time passed by slowly, Sleep teased me by overcoming me to a certain extent so that I was never awake nor asleep for a while. Thank goodness I am a strong-willed person who has been practising techniques to overcome situations like these. Television and cartoons do come in handy after all. Anyway, I managed to fight off sleep twice and almost lost to it the third time when Perfect10 started playing really boring music.Anyway thank god, two stray dogs began humping just outside the shop. That caught my attention! I started cheering for them but then the male got tired and stopped. What a let down! Anyway, the rest of the day was spent pacing around and sitting down and trying to get those dogs to hump again. Sadly, I failed!
Now when I was going back, I happened to get onto two strange buses. I boarded a packed 89, which was really surprising because it was already 9something. I walked up the bus and was met with a sweet-sour smell that tickled the hairs of my nostrils. So naturally I was like "what the...?". After pushing my way towards the centre of the bus, I saw, then realised. I had made a huge mistake. I walked right into their trap. There were like a hundred sweaty, stinky Army boys in there, generously emitting their foul sweet and sour smell. It smelt like Twisties Tomato Flavour and also like my primary school friends P.E t-shirt that I stole in camp to avoid getting punished. At that point, I decided to give the bus service 89 a new name. The Smelly Bus.
I alighted at pasir ris then waited for 53. I love 53 cuz its a long ride home. So I can just go to sleep. Well apparently everyone feels the same way, so when I got on, everyone was asleep and the driver looked like he was gonna fall asleep too. I mean I paid 55cents and the driver just pressed the button to give me my ticket. He dint even ask for my fake student pass. I sat down, and began reading my book but after a while felt myself falling prey to sleep again. I succumbed to it.
Approximately ten minutes later, I woke up with a start. We were moving really fast... suddenly the bus rammed into a tree, causing some to bang their heads on the handlebars and others to be flung out of their seats, banging their heads several times on various hard objects.
"Sorry ah! fell asleep lah!" The bus driver apologised.
Those who had been flung out, grabbed their bleeding heads and grunted and went back to sleep on their chairs. Which left me really scared. I was like... What in gods name have i gotten myself into??? So I named bus number 53 the Sleepy Psycho Bus. Eh btw can make a horror movie outta it. Like the last train thinggy they are showing now.
Just a brief introduction to the third bus I have christened a few weeks ago. Bus number 151. The nerdy bus. Its full of NUS students, writing, mumbling and doing really weird stuff. There was this ratty faced guy who was nibbling on a carrot stick while writing out something. he finished his carrot within like three minutes then began gnawing on the rubber handlebars on the seats. Talk about freaky! Okay then goodnite. im too tired.
Now when I was going back, I happened to get onto two strange buses. I boarded a packed 89, which was really surprising because it was already 9something. I walked up the bus and was met with a sweet-sour smell that tickled the hairs of my nostrils. So naturally I was like "what the...?". After pushing my way towards the centre of the bus, I saw, then realised. I had made a huge mistake. I walked right into their trap. There were like a hundred sweaty, stinky Army boys in there, generously emitting their foul sweet and sour smell. It smelt like Twisties Tomato Flavour and also like my primary school friends P.E t-shirt that I stole in camp to avoid getting punished. At that point, I decided to give the bus service 89 a new name. The Smelly Bus.
I alighted at pasir ris then waited for 53. I love 53 cuz its a long ride home. So I can just go to sleep. Well apparently everyone feels the same way, so when I got on, everyone was asleep and the driver looked like he was gonna fall asleep too. I mean I paid 55cents and the driver just pressed the button to give me my ticket. He dint even ask for my fake student pass. I sat down, and began reading my book but after a while felt myself falling prey to sleep again. I succumbed to it.
Approximately ten minutes later, I woke up with a start. We were moving really fast... suddenly the bus rammed into a tree, causing some to bang their heads on the handlebars and others to be flung out of their seats, banging their heads several times on various hard objects.
"Sorry ah! fell asleep lah!" The bus driver apologised.
Those who had been flung out, grabbed their bleeding heads and grunted and went back to sleep on their chairs. Which left me really scared. I was like... What in gods name have i gotten myself into??? So I named bus number 53 the Sleepy Psycho Bus. Eh btw can make a horror movie outta it. Like the last train thinggy they are showing now.
Just a brief introduction to the third bus I have christened a few weeks ago. Bus number 151. The nerdy bus. Its full of NUS students, writing, mumbling and doing really weird stuff. There was this ratty faced guy who was nibbling on a carrot stick while writing out something. he finished his carrot within like three minutes then began gnawing on the rubber handlebars on the seats. Talk about freaky! Okay then goodnite. im too tired.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Competition
Hey guys. Have you noticed how fast paced and challenging Singapore is becoming? Look at the ads on tv. Theres competition between Starhub and Singtel and then M1 got jealous so he joined in the under-belt hitting. Its despicable! Whatever happened to fair play... or fair competition for that matter? An old ad, showed a red(Singtel) timer running, and then stopping at 20seconds of use. The timer then rounds off to one minute. Then the ad says "Other mobile companies round off the usage time to the nearest minute". Then another green(Starhub) timer does the same thing except it stops at 20seconds. "Starhub only charges you for what you use. Unlike other companies like *cough* SINGTEL *cough*"
Singapore is really getting very competitive. Everytime someone comes up with something original, like a new service or a great business plan etc, a hundred others follow suit. Then eventually everyone gets sick and then all of them go bankrupt... INCLUDING the intelligent,brave person who created and initiated the whole idea. I was walking along a row of shops recently, and spotted a 7-11 and a ABC Discount house side-by-side. I was really puzzled so I walked into 7-11 and bought myself a Gulp.
Me: So errr... Eric hows the 7-11 business?
Eric(Cashier): Well not bad. that will be a dollar twenty.
Me: Hmm... arent you guys affected by the ABC discount house beside you? I mean they are selling stuff real cheap!
Eric: Of course not! The very idea that we are affected by them is laughable. erm.. Ha Ha. I mean their concept and strategy and aims are all totally different from ours. Our targets and aims are completely different. For example, They are fighting to be the cheapest store in Singapore. We on the other hand are aiming to become the most expensive store in Singapore. So you see we dont have a conflict in interest.
Speaking of originality... have you heard that the ticket prices for movies are going to be increased? Probably to $9. Hey! Great way to combat movie piracy!!! Make the prices higher, so that people don't want to watch movies anymore! I mean what the hell is the increase for? To pay higher staff wages? Cant be...they cut their staff wages. Im sincerely trying my best here to justify the hike in prices... but for the love of god!!!!!!! I cant think of anything that makes sense. Well unless you count the owner of the Movie Prices Regulation Board having to increase his fat son's allowance. Nah! That aint probable either. I made that department up. I guess its because oil prices are increasing. So all the CEO's and Directors of the movie and cinema companies figured they need more money to cover their petrol expenses.Hmmm that seems more likely.
Edmund told me a funny story about his bus driver recently. Haha! Well he has an Army bus that picks him up everyday to go to office, so he has to pay $50/mth for that service. Anyway he always spends his pay within the first week and then robs old ladies in lifts. I know what you are thinking... my grandma is at risk! Well no! I told him to stay away frm my grandma, unless he wants to get spinach poisoning. Well back to my story. His bus driver is a nice short hobbit looking man whose English vocabulary consists of less than ten words. Anyway, When they reached his camp he went to talk to the driver and said. "Uncle... I no money now... I pay you on the 20th Ke Yi?" (Ke Yi means Is that alright?" He tried using his fingers to express himself as well. The uncle looks at him and nods his head and says "Ke Yi... Ke Yi." So Edmund is overjoyed and walks down the steps but then realises that the driver might not have understood. So he went back up to check. "Uncle I dont pay you at all Ke Yi?" The man nods again and goes "Ke Yi... Ke Yi". So Edmund realises that he did not understand from the beginning. So he goes to slack in his office and asks his Chinese friend to write a note in Chinese asking the driver if he could pay on teh 20th. Now when it is time to head home, He goes up the steps and hands the note to the driver. The driver reads it then stares at Edmund and starts talking to Edmund in Chinese, probably cursing him or somthing. Gosh... the hardest bridge to construct is a brisge between language barriers!
Singapore is really getting very competitive. Everytime someone comes up with something original, like a new service or a great business plan etc, a hundred others follow suit. Then eventually everyone gets sick and then all of them go bankrupt... INCLUDING the intelligent,brave person who created and initiated the whole idea. I was walking along a row of shops recently, and spotted a 7-11 and a ABC Discount house side-by-side. I was really puzzled so I walked into 7-11 and bought myself a Gulp.
Me: So errr... Eric hows the 7-11 business?
Eric(Cashier): Well not bad. that will be a dollar twenty.
Me: Hmm... arent you guys affected by the ABC discount house beside you? I mean they are selling stuff real cheap!
Eric: Of course not! The very idea that we are affected by them is laughable. erm.. Ha Ha. I mean their concept and strategy and aims are all totally different from ours. Our targets and aims are completely different. For example, They are fighting to be the cheapest store in Singapore. We on the other hand are aiming to become the most expensive store in Singapore. So you see we dont have a conflict in interest.
Speaking of originality... have you heard that the ticket prices for movies are going to be increased? Probably to $9. Hey! Great way to combat movie piracy!!! Make the prices higher, so that people don't want to watch movies anymore! I mean what the hell is the increase for? To pay higher staff wages? Cant be...they cut their staff wages. Im sincerely trying my best here to justify the hike in prices... but for the love of god!!!!!!! I cant think of anything that makes sense. Well unless you count the owner of the Movie Prices Regulation Board having to increase his fat son's allowance. Nah! That aint probable either. I made that department up. I guess its because oil prices are increasing. So all the CEO's and Directors of the movie and cinema companies figured they need more money to cover their petrol expenses.Hmmm that seems more likely.
Edmund told me a funny story about his bus driver recently. Haha! Well he has an Army bus that picks him up everyday to go to office, so he has to pay $50/mth for that service. Anyway he always spends his pay within the first week and then robs old ladies in lifts. I know what you are thinking... my grandma is at risk! Well no! I told him to stay away frm my grandma, unless he wants to get spinach poisoning. Well back to my story. His bus driver is a nice short hobbit looking man whose English vocabulary consists of less than ten words. Anyway, When they reached his camp he went to talk to the driver and said. "Uncle... I no money now... I pay you on the 20th Ke Yi?" (Ke Yi means Is that alright?" He tried using his fingers to express himself as well. The uncle looks at him and nods his head and says "Ke Yi... Ke Yi." So Edmund is overjoyed and walks down the steps but then realises that the driver might not have understood. So he went back up to check. "Uncle I dont pay you at all Ke Yi?" The man nods again and goes "Ke Yi... Ke Yi". So Edmund realises that he did not understand from the beginning. So he goes to slack in his office and asks his Chinese friend to write a note in Chinese asking the driver if he could pay on teh 20th. Now when it is time to head home, He goes up the steps and hands the note to the driver. The driver reads it then stares at Edmund and starts talking to Edmund in Chinese, probably cursing him or somthing. Gosh... the hardest bridge to construct is a brisge between language barriers!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Life
Hello. I'd like to start off by thanking God I'm still alive today. I had a very very very close call with death two nights ago. I was in Phuket apparently alone, enjoying some breakfast in a cafe near the beach when suddenly I had a feeling something bad was going to happen. (My back was facing the sea btw). I sensed a Tsunami approaching, So I turned around and indeed the waves were building up. Everyone started screaming and scrambling around in hysteria. Everything seemed distant as my mind blanked out for a while. The sound of breaking glass and falling tables brought me back to my senses. I half ran and half tripped my way to a public bus. There was no room inside so many others and myself clung on to the sides, trying to get a foothold on window ledges and edges of the advertisement boards. The bus began moving, some people fell off as the sudden inertia caught them offguard. Nobody... absolutely nobody would have, in their wildest imagination, thought this scene possible just ten minutes ago. However, ten minutes later it is definitely happening. Pleasant holidays for some turned into a horrible horrible nightmare. People began praying fervently to different names that they held in belief as their god. They prayed to wake up. They prayed for an end to this nightmare. It was extremely dream-like. Just like how settings change in an instant in dreams, it had done so just a few minutes ago.
The towering waves slammed against the coconut trees on the shore, ripping, and throwing them across a hundred metres mercilessly. I too began praying that my life be spared. The shadow of death was hanging over thousands of people around the beach. We knew it would claim many lives. It was selecting teasingly, taking its own time, looking down upon all the lives that were fighting desperately for survival, sadistically watching on. It could wait. It could definitely wait a while longer to amuse itself with the scenes of desperation and struggle.
The scene changed. I woke up without a shirt, on an island with(strangely enough) a few of my cousins. The sea seemed to have calmed down. We walked around the island untill suddenly we saw huge waves breaking out on other islands nearby. We quickly climbed up a four metre rock and clung on tightly as the gigantic killer waves approached. WHAM! It hit the rocks and almost washed us off. I held on tightly, hugging the rock for all i was worth as another two waves approached. The second wave took the person beside me. Her final few seconds were spent screaming in utter shock and helplessness. I was really petrified now. Would I be the next life it claims? Would my final few moments alive be spent screaming and crying out? Would I be robbed of the essence of life? These thoughts kept me clinging on, hugging the rock harder.
Those scenes suddenly vanished. I opened my eyes and saw sunlight bursting through my windows.I was laying on my bed. Never was I so glad to see sunlight. Those vivid images of death and desperation to live made me appreciate the birds singing outside and the trees swaying slightly in the wind. Life is really beautiful.
The towering waves slammed against the coconut trees on the shore, ripping, and throwing them across a hundred metres mercilessly. I too began praying that my life be spared. The shadow of death was hanging over thousands of people around the beach. We knew it would claim many lives. It was selecting teasingly, taking its own time, looking down upon all the lives that were fighting desperately for survival, sadistically watching on. It could wait. It could definitely wait a while longer to amuse itself with the scenes of desperation and struggle.
The scene changed. I woke up without a shirt, on an island with(strangely enough) a few of my cousins. The sea seemed to have calmed down. We walked around the island untill suddenly we saw huge waves breaking out on other islands nearby. We quickly climbed up a four metre rock and clung on tightly as the gigantic killer waves approached. WHAM! It hit the rocks and almost washed us off. I held on tightly, hugging the rock for all i was worth as another two waves approached. The second wave took the person beside me. Her final few seconds were spent screaming in utter shock and helplessness. I was really petrified now. Would I be the next life it claims? Would my final few moments alive be spent screaming and crying out? Would I be robbed of the essence of life? These thoughts kept me clinging on, hugging the rock harder.
Those scenes suddenly vanished. I opened my eyes and saw sunlight bursting through my windows.I was laying on my bed. Never was I so glad to see sunlight. Those vivid images of death and desperation to live made me appreciate the birds singing outside and the trees swaying slightly in the wind. Life is really beautiful.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Chocolate Flavoured Milk
Disclaimer: This post contains material unsuitable for readers below the age of 18. The author in no way endorses these views. This movie is for private use only. It may not be shown,projected,displayed, played, streamed or photocopied? in public places.
Hello cheezels. yeap thats right, I called you guys cheezels. I mean you people I mean cheezels think that Im wrong to call people cheezels, but what if I was brought up with the idea of cheezels being people? Okay dont shoot me yet. I was kind of hungry so I decided to make myself a cheddar cheese toast and to bring out the taste, I poured myself a glass of 2 year old chocolate milk. The thing is, while I was pouring it, I looked at the milk carton and saw the words "Chocolate Flavoured Milk". Once my brain registered those words, I got the most shocking shock of my shocked up life. Hehehe... I never would have imagined that they actually just flavoured it. I meanits like its just normal white milk thats flavoured with chocolate that probably isnt even real. I always thought they just fed chocolates to cows and hence we get chocolate milk. How else do u explain those brown cows? To think that all of us misinformed consumers actually pay around seventy cents more for normal milk, that has a little chocolate flavour and brown cow fur inside? Gosh! Oh and that reminds me on the topic of cheese.We humans are just backstabbing bastards. I used to think cheese was just made from milk. However, recently to the dismay of many vegetarians and hindus and buddhists and other non-beef eating cheezels, it was revealed that they actually use the rennet from cows as a solidifier-ing thing. Dont you think its disgusting. heres a look.
Farmer: Goodmorning Daisy, Im here to collect your milk, which is actually intended for your baby, that was artificially conceived by poking a stick with sperms into you.
Farmer: Be a good girl and let me squeeze ure udders. Yes thats right moo for me.
Cow:(In cow language) Save me from this perverted farmer
Locked up Bull: Leave my wife alone you sick &%#@! How would you like it if I came to your bedroom every morning and squeezed ure wife's boobs?
Farmer: Okay, you dont have a single drop of milk left for your baby. Actually I feel kind of bad for impregnating you. I'll fix that.
*Farmer takes a spear and stabs her stomach several times and then puts his hand throught the hole.
Farmer: Oh and I'll be needing some of your intestines too. Nice doin business with you.
*Farmer leaves Daisy to die and goes to shave her brown husband for the Chocolate Flavoured Milk.
Hey, I feel kinda bad now for eating the cows intestines. Oh well it tasted great anyway.
Hello cheezels. yeap thats right, I called you guys cheezels. I mean you people I mean cheezels think that Im wrong to call people cheezels, but what if I was brought up with the idea of cheezels being people? Okay dont shoot me yet. I was kind of hungry so I decided to make myself a cheddar cheese toast and to bring out the taste, I poured myself a glass of 2 year old chocolate milk. The thing is, while I was pouring it, I looked at the milk carton and saw the words "Chocolate Flavoured Milk". Once my brain registered those words, I got the most shocking shock of my shocked up life. Hehehe... I never would have imagined that they actually just flavoured it. I meanits like its just normal white milk thats flavoured with chocolate that probably isnt even real. I always thought they just fed chocolates to cows and hence we get chocolate milk. How else do u explain those brown cows? To think that all of us misinformed consumers actually pay around seventy cents more for normal milk, that has a little chocolate flavour and brown cow fur inside? Gosh! Oh and that reminds me on the topic of cheese.We humans are just backstabbing bastards. I used to think cheese was just made from milk. However, recently to the dismay of many vegetarians and hindus and buddhists and other non-beef eating cheezels, it was revealed that they actually use the rennet from cows as a solidifier-ing thing. Dont you think its disgusting. heres a look.
Farmer: Goodmorning Daisy, Im here to collect your milk, which is actually intended for your baby, that was artificially conceived by poking a stick with sperms into you.
Farmer: Be a good girl and let me squeeze ure udders. Yes thats right moo for me.
Cow:(In cow language) Save me from this perverted farmer
Locked up Bull: Leave my wife alone you sick &%#@! How would you like it if I came to your bedroom every morning and squeezed ure wife's boobs?
Farmer: Okay, you dont have a single drop of milk left for your baby. Actually I feel kind of bad for impregnating you. I'll fix that.
*Farmer takes a spear and stabs her stomach several times and then puts his hand throught the hole.
Farmer: Oh and I'll be needing some of your intestines too. Nice doin business with you.
*Farmer leaves Daisy to die and goes to shave her brown husband for the Chocolate Flavoured Milk.
Hey, I feel kinda bad now for eating the cows intestines. Oh well it tasted great anyway.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
The evolution of the Y-chromosome.
Ok... seriously... Im up to here(points to my head) with feminists. I mean its alright to demand equality and stuff, but its NOT cool to go on TV and speak in riddles and hint that men are just scumbags, inflated with nothing but testosterones. I was on my way to my Satsang(Prayers), watching "Ladies First" on TvMobile. Anyway, they were interviewing single women above 30. The host, Wong Lilin(hope its spelt correctly) asked for their views on why more and more women are opting to remain single. This is what she said.
"Well I think the primary reason is because women nowadays are more educated. That is why they are opting to remain single." At first I was like thats very vague and it doesnt really answer the question does it? I mean thats what my social studies textbook said. WOMEN ARE MORE EDUCATED NOW! Ok... and? Women are more educated now... So what is she saying? That with education comes the revelation that careers are more important than getting a partner and having kids? Ok wait that can never happen in Singapore can it? Education that is not pro-baby making.
However, thanks to the sneer in her tone when saying it, I realised that she actually meant that women dont need men anymore because they have their careers, and therefore can afford to buy their own shoes and chocolate. Oh and well she would rather have a bundle of money than a bundle of joy (Kids). To be honest, Im not really angry or anything, just very alarmed. I watched a documentary on Discovery channel a few weeks back on how the Y-chromosome is rapidly evolving. evolving to become an X-chromosome(I think). This fact, as interpreted by scientists, is suggesting that the male species is dying out slowly. Evolution is getting rid of the male species. It must be true. Look at how nature is moving towards that direction. Inching ever so slowly yet gradually. Women are shunning men now for their careers. Which indicates that they are learning to take full independence. First it was equal rights, and tomorrow they will rule the world. Im scared man. Especially if my sister becomes the leader of the world. She will turn all men into house-elves or something. Oh and look at the growing number of lesbians. They are all signs I tell you! I dont wanna turn into a lady man... Hey I think its because of the female genes they are injecting into chickens... then all you meat eaters eat them and turn gay. I dont wanna die out man!
On a lighter note, I was speaking to someone not too long ago. He is a muslim from the middle-east. He couldnt really speak english properly and we were having a serious discussion that turned really hilarious(for me). He was explaining to me how Islam and Christianity were actually quite similar. He spoke to me about Allah and then about Jesus. The funny thing was he didnt really know how to pronounce Jesus, so he kept referring to him as "Juices". I tried maintaining a straight face, but he just kept calling him "Juices". Im not insulting or anything btw, and its not his fault too because he seriously didnt know, but it was funny. I was biting my tongue to keep myself from smiling, or bursting into laughter for that matter. Later on, he was showing pictures of his town and there was this picture of cows grazing in an open field. Ill transcribe.
Him: You see this picture, very nice. You can see the beef?
Me: Beef?
Him: Ya ya... you see... so many beef lah. All eating in the field.
* I was smiling already, trying not to laugh.
Me: Oh yeah... you mean the cows. Its beautiful.
It was funny in the beginning, but to think of it, was it really wrong to call it beef? I mean we call hens and roosters "Chickens" and its accepted. We use the term "fish" for both the live version and the dead version on our plates. I guess once people start thinking of a particular animal as only a source of food and nothing else, its "food" name is accepted as its original name. Isnt that what women used to suffer from? Lack of identity and respect and rights. I think animals should be given their due rights too. Someone once said that the 19th century saw the rights to man, the 20th century to women and the 21st century shall see the rights to animals. I wonder if this will come true...???
GoodnightSeattle Singapore,
Santo has left the building.
"Well I think the primary reason is because women nowadays are more educated. That is why they are opting to remain single." At first I was like thats very vague and it doesnt really answer the question does it? I mean thats what my social studies textbook said. WOMEN ARE MORE EDUCATED NOW! Ok... and? Women are more educated now... So what is she saying? That with education comes the revelation that careers are more important than getting a partner and having kids? Ok wait that can never happen in Singapore can it? Education that is not pro-baby making.
However, thanks to the sneer in her tone when saying it, I realised that she actually meant that women dont need men anymore because they have their careers, and therefore can afford to buy their own shoes and chocolate. Oh and well she would rather have a bundle of money than a bundle of joy (Kids). To be honest, Im not really angry or anything, just very alarmed. I watched a documentary on Discovery channel a few weeks back on how the Y-chromosome is rapidly evolving. evolving to become an X-chromosome(I think). This fact, as interpreted by scientists, is suggesting that the male species is dying out slowly. Evolution is getting rid of the male species. It must be true. Look at how nature is moving towards that direction. Inching ever so slowly yet gradually. Women are shunning men now for their careers. Which indicates that they are learning to take full independence. First it was equal rights, and tomorrow they will rule the world. Im scared man. Especially if my sister becomes the leader of the world. She will turn all men into house-elves or something. Oh and look at the growing number of lesbians. They are all signs I tell you! I dont wanna turn into a lady man... Hey I think its because of the female genes they are injecting into chickens... then all you meat eaters eat them and turn gay. I dont wanna die out man!
On a lighter note, I was speaking to someone not too long ago. He is a muslim from the middle-east. He couldnt really speak english properly and we were having a serious discussion that turned really hilarious(for me). He was explaining to me how Islam and Christianity were actually quite similar. He spoke to me about Allah and then about Jesus. The funny thing was he didnt really know how to pronounce Jesus, so he kept referring to him as "Juices". I tried maintaining a straight face, but he just kept calling him "Juices". Im not insulting or anything btw, and its not his fault too because he seriously didnt know, but it was funny. I was biting my tongue to keep myself from smiling, or bursting into laughter for that matter. Later on, he was showing pictures of his town and there was this picture of cows grazing in an open field. Ill transcribe.
Him: You see this picture, very nice. You can see the beef?
Me: Beef?
Him: Ya ya... you see... so many beef lah. All eating in the field.
* I was smiling already, trying not to laugh.
Me: Oh yeah... you mean the cows. Its beautiful.
It was funny in the beginning, but to think of it, was it really wrong to call it beef? I mean we call hens and roosters "Chickens" and its accepted. We use the term "fish" for both the live version and the dead version on our plates. I guess once people start thinking of a particular animal as only a source of food and nothing else, its "food" name is accepted as its original name. Isnt that what women used to suffer from? Lack of identity and respect and rights. I think animals should be given their due rights too. Someone once said that the 19th century saw the rights to man, the 20th century to women and the 21st century shall see the rights to animals. I wonder if this will come true...???
Goodnight
Santo has left the building.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Why must everything have a title?
I have been feeling a little down lately, cuz Im broke again and I dont wanna ask money from my mom. Im a little angry with myself right now. I paid $65 to an agency that promised to get me and my frend amreet roles as extras in tv and stuff, and I have not heard from them yet. I know its a little early right now, just hope we dont get duped. Its been all I have ever wanted to do. To act. If I dont become a exceptional actor in my life, Id consider my entire life a waste. From today onwards, I dedicate my life to acting. I know its gonna be hard, taking into account that the arts is still not very developed here in Singapore.
My hamster just inspired me. I heard a scraping sound and looked to my right and saw my hamster trying to climb up a plastic bag. She kept sliding back down but she did not give up. She tried and tried and tried... and finally she managed to get a foothold and climbed all the way up. Isnt it how it is in life? Success is the top of the plastic bag. We just have to keep trying. Success comes to those who never give up. Its easier said than done but then again, its not impossible to achieve. I dont believe that people are successful in life just by luck.
I believe we create our own destinies. It is easier to say that everything is already destined for us and so we are slaves to destiny. Whenever people say that, I feel like piercing a ring thru their nose(just like a cow's), and nailing it into the ground. Because thats just where they will remain. I know its a bit rich coming from me but I have to say it anyway. Destiny is created by us. Now you might be asking "What proof do you have?". My proof is Choices. Every single second we are making choices, consciously or unconsciously. Even breathing is a choice. An unconscious choice, a decision initiated by our subconscious to help us live. We dont tell our subconscious what to do because it does what is best for our body. I would like to highlight that every function of our body is functioning because of our subconscious. In other words, our subconscious is choosing to let us live. Since every second we are alive is a result of a choice, imagine the power of what our choices could help us achieve. I choose to become a successful actor and therefore I shall, because the choice has been made. I urge all of you to make a choice, a choice to live a success. Just to clarify something, Success is relative to the individual. What one perceives as Success may not be shared by another. Choose wisely and decisively.
Yours in choosing,
Santo
My hamster just inspired me. I heard a scraping sound and looked to my right and saw my hamster trying to climb up a plastic bag. She kept sliding back down but she did not give up. She tried and tried and tried... and finally she managed to get a foothold and climbed all the way up. Isnt it how it is in life? Success is the top of the plastic bag. We just have to keep trying. Success comes to those who never give up. Its easier said than done but then again, its not impossible to achieve. I dont believe that people are successful in life just by luck.
I believe we create our own destinies. It is easier to say that everything is already destined for us and so we are slaves to destiny. Whenever people say that, I feel like piercing a ring thru their nose(just like a cow's), and nailing it into the ground. Because thats just where they will remain. I know its a bit rich coming from me but I have to say it anyway. Destiny is created by us. Now you might be asking "What proof do you have?". My proof is Choices. Every single second we are making choices, consciously or unconsciously. Even breathing is a choice. An unconscious choice, a decision initiated by our subconscious to help us live. We dont tell our subconscious what to do because it does what is best for our body. I would like to highlight that every function of our body is functioning because of our subconscious. In other words, our subconscious is choosing to let us live. Since every second we are alive is a result of a choice, imagine the power of what our choices could help us achieve. I choose to become a successful actor and therefore I shall, because the choice has been made. I urge all of you to make a choice, a choice to live a success. Just to clarify something, Success is relative to the individual. What one perceives as Success may not be shared by another. Choose wisely and decisively.
Yours in choosing,
Santo
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Sir Poop-a-lot
Hi once again. I apologise for not updating my blog for so long. I have been really really busy with my work. Ahhh who am I kidding? I was just really lazy. In fact I dont feel like blogging right now. Primarily because I'm indulging in buttered corn. My mum made em. Well you see I'm a disgusting and revolting eater. When I was younger, my grandmother used to say I only used to eat half of what was on my plate and dribbled the rest down all over myself. My sisters used to say I had a hole in my mouth.Naturally I wanted all these unwanted "comments" to stop. So I developed finer eating habits(only used in the company of others) and since Im alone now, Im eating like an animal... gnawing on the corn and shaking my head vigorously to tear apart the corn kernels. So its all kinda messy and that is why I dont feel like blogging. However, you already probably guessed that I will continue blogging since I already started and since you would be able to see that this post doesnt end here... although of course it could actually end here and whatever I am about to type henceforth could just be rubbish.
Today went quite well. Other than the fact that I walked around in circles in Ang Mo Kio in the rain and couldnt get what I wanted and then went to my friends house and could not resolve his PC problem. OH! and not forgetting the cat that shat on us. I'll come to that later.
After repairing(or attempting to at least) my friends computer, I met Edmund Verghese a.k.a Vergoose a.k.a Voghill a.k.a Ninja for dinner. I had two plain and one cheese prata and he had two plains... since he already had dinner but was just greedy. The prata man was very crooked. He tried cheating poor Edmund twice. First when he kept Edmunds $0.80 change and a second time by trying to cheat him twenty cents extra for a drink. Poor guy. We supposed that he cheated unsuspecting customers and put that money into his Yun Nam Fund. Yeap you guessed right. He is BALD. Probably saving for acupuncture or smthin. Gosh... now i feel bad for being mean to him. Well, as a consolation, baldness results from excessive testosterones... so he should be proud how much of a man he is.
After prata, we walked around and met a cat. He was really cute and "clean". His fur looked like it had just been shampooed or smthin. Probably a recently abandoned cat. It was like really friendly and stuff, brushing against our legs and it followed us to a bench. Edmund sat down and carried the cat up and played with it. I just sat down beside him and stared at them. The cat rested its paw and its head on its chest and closed its eyes as Edmund tickled it. Heres the dialogue of what was said.
Edmund: Awww look at it... Its so cute isnt it???
Me: It smells of shit dude.
Edmund: Ill call it FeiMao (or so I recall)
Me: No lets call it Dawg. It would be cool to say to it "Waddup Dawg"
Edmund: No Im calling it FeiMao.
Me: U sick twisted B%^^$&^
Edmund: Damn its claws are poking my nipples.
Me: Hahahahahahaha. Ha......... Ha.
Edmund: EH yah! it smells of shit.
Me: I still think Dawg sounds better...
*The cat is rubbing itself all over Edmund oh and btw it stepped on me a little before.
*I notice a little clump on its tail so I look closer... still trying to figure out if its dust or shit. THEN! I get a good view of whats under its tail... he probably had diarrhea and his butt was FAAARRR FAAR away from clean. It was like a blueberry waffle. the waffle was its butt and the the shit, represented by the blueberry was smeared all over it.
Me: DUDE!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHY IT SMELLS OF SHIT???!!!!!!!
*Edmund tried pushing her off.
Me: Lift up its tail man... and you'll find out.
At this point, normal people would either just throw the cat on the floor and run far away or push the cat aside and carefully look at its ass to assess the 'damage'. However, Edmund carefully pushes the cat aside the the other side and grabs its tail and lifts it tail up. Oh and he grabbed the top part of the tail... very near its ass(the disaster area). There you have it.... his hand became a blueberry waffle. A duplicated blueberry waffle... like those cheap ones where they just spread the blueberry on one waffle then sandwich it with another for a while so that the other gets a bit of blueberry as well. Thats all I have to say for today... really tired. Goodnight.
PS: If the cat who shat itself is reading this... GO GET A PIECE OF SANDPAPER AND WORK ON THAT ASS OF URES! jeez...
Today went quite well. Other than the fact that I walked around in circles in Ang Mo Kio in the rain and couldnt get what I wanted and then went to my friends house and could not resolve his PC problem. OH! and not forgetting the cat that shat on us. I'll come to that later.
After repairing(or attempting to at least) my friends computer, I met Edmund Verghese a.k.a Vergoose a.k.a Voghill a.k.a Ninja for dinner. I had two plain and one cheese prata and he had two plains... since he already had dinner but was just greedy. The prata man was very crooked. He tried cheating poor Edmund twice. First when he kept Edmunds $0.80 change and a second time by trying to cheat him twenty cents extra for a drink. Poor guy. We supposed that he cheated unsuspecting customers and put that money into his Yun Nam Fund. Yeap you guessed right. He is BALD. Probably saving for acupuncture or smthin. Gosh... now i feel bad for being mean to him. Well, as a consolation, baldness results from excessive testosterones... so he should be proud how much of a man he is.
After prata, we walked around and met a cat. He was really cute and "clean". His fur looked like it had just been shampooed or smthin. Probably a recently abandoned cat. It was like really friendly and stuff, brushing against our legs and it followed us to a bench. Edmund sat down and carried the cat up and played with it. I just sat down beside him and stared at them. The cat rested its paw and its head on its chest and closed its eyes as Edmund tickled it. Heres the dialogue of what was said.
Edmund: Awww look at it... Its so cute isnt it???
Me: It smells of shit dude.
Edmund: Ill call it FeiMao (or so I recall)
Me: No lets call it Dawg. It would be cool to say to it "Waddup Dawg"
Edmund: No Im calling it FeiMao.
Me: U sick twisted B%^^$&^
Edmund: Damn its claws are poking my nipples.
Me: Hahahahahahaha. Ha......... Ha.
Edmund: EH yah! it smells of shit.
Me: I still think Dawg sounds better...
*The cat is rubbing itself all over Edmund oh and btw it stepped on me a little before.
*I notice a little clump on its tail so I look closer... still trying to figure out if its dust or shit. THEN! I get a good view of whats under its tail... he probably had diarrhea and his butt was FAAARRR FAAR away from clean. It was like a blueberry waffle. the waffle was its butt and the the shit, represented by the blueberry was smeared all over it.
Me: DUDE!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHY IT SMELLS OF SHIT???!!!!!!!
*Edmund tried pushing her off.
Me: Lift up its tail man... and you'll find out.
At this point, normal people would either just throw the cat on the floor and run far away or push the cat aside and carefully look at its ass to assess the 'damage'. However, Edmund carefully pushes the cat aside the the other side and grabs its tail and lifts it tail up. Oh and he grabbed the top part of the tail... very near its ass(the disaster area). There you have it.... his hand became a blueberry waffle. A duplicated blueberry waffle... like those cheap ones where they just spread the blueberry on one waffle then sandwich it with another for a while so that the other gets a bit of blueberry as well. Thats all I have to say for today... really tired. Goodnight.
PS: If the cat who shat itself is reading this... GO GET A PIECE OF SANDPAPER AND WORK ON THAT ASS OF URES! jeez...
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Wolf who cried Boy.
Hey there, once again. I have so much to write but so little time. I guess I'll just write.
I was in the MRT on my way to Orchard a few days back, feeling a little sleepy. Actually a little is an understatement. I was literally dozing off whilst standing up. A really dangerous stunt so dont try it at home kids. Well actually go ahead and try it at home, but not when ure in the train. Anyway, I passed by Newton and my sleepy brain actually began thinking. Its amazing isnt it? My brain actually works! I began questioning the name Newton. I came to a conclusion that its a really weird name to name a place in Singapore. I mean NEWTON! I kept pondering over it for the next few minutes, and then I heard the sexy voice of the MRT lady say "Orchard". Then it all made sense. Heres my theory. Its a SCAM! A joint scam by the Singapore Tourism Board and the government. It all makes sense. The government strategically named these two places such since they are so close each other. They masterminded the whole scam and left it to tour agencies to finish the job. However their plan backfired because people are stupid.If everything had gone as planned, Tours around these areas would sound something like this.
Tour guide: We are now at Newton, the birthplace of the famous Sir Isaac Newton. It is here, where he grew up and occasionally got whacked up by the other kids for being such a nerd.
*Gasps from tourists*
Tour guide: Next stop, Orchard. The place he was when an apple fell and hit him on his head.
Does it make sense now? Im starting my tour agency tomorrow. I'll rent bikes to tourists and make them cycle with me around Singapore. Anyway, heres a story I thought about at work yesterday.
The Wolf Who Cried Boy
Far, far away, in the land of Haivenmaven there lived a whole tribe of wolves. They were all mean wolves who ate people for breakfast,lunch and dinner. They just had tea and biscuits for supper. Anyway, these wolves lived in caves in the mountains. Now my story revolves around this particular family of wolves. They consisted of Mother Wolf, Father Wolf, Mistress Wolf, Wolf Junior, Wolf Junior(II) and Accidental Wolf Junior. They were really a psychotic family. For instance, they were the only crazy wolves who had a Hi-Fi system in their cave. Which was totally a waste since they only ever played one song, which went "I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE! I'LL EAT YOU AAAALLLLIIIIIVVVEEEEEEE!". These crazy wolves used to blast this song while dancing around the helpless human being who was about to get eaten.
These wolves were really chomping down on humans. The human population around that area was rapidly decreasing. One day, news reached the wolves in mountains that a hunter was out looking for them. All the sensible wolves stayed inside their caves, and locked their imaginary doors. So that leaves us with the psychotic wolf family. They decided to eat out that night, and felt like hunter meat. So they all trotted along on their prowl for the hunter. After a few hours, they spotted him treading ever so cautiously on the broken twigs and dead leaves on the forest floor. Father wolf sprang up and howled. With a swift turn, the hunter aimed, shot and killed Father wolf in mid-air. Then mother and mistress wolf sprang up in unison, and collided in mid-air. They felt the ground for the last time, before the hunter fired two shots each at them. The kids were terrified. So they followed the breadcrumb tracks they made, back to their cave.
Life was tough for the little wolves as orphans. They were unable to get enough food since they were inexperienced in hunting. The severe lack of food caused Accidental Wolf Junior to go slightly beserk. He decided to play a prank on all the other wolves.
One fine Saturday morning, he went right across towards the boundaries of the forest and started howling "Wake up fellow Wolfeses. Theres a delicious boy behind those trees. First come first served!". The other wolves woke up and since they were still very groggy, they did not question his credibility. On thinking of the prospect of having scrambled boy for breakfast, they ran down to the base of the mountain and ran into the woods and searched for an hour for the boy while Accidental Wolf Junior went up to their houses and helped himself to their spare food and brought home supplies. The wolves were very angry when they found out he lied but took pity on him since he was retarded.
He made this a habbit. He would often go to various locations and "cry boy". Fewer and fewer wolves responded to his cries untill one day, he was left standing there yelling to himself alone. Now he couldnt go up and steal supplies anymore since the other wolves were immune to his cries.
Two days later, he was walking along the outskirts of the forest again, when he heard voices. He poked his snout through the bramble bush and sniffed. His keen nose detected dried perspiration on sweet skin, and someone's fart. He pushed his furry face through and saw a bunch of scouts picnicking in the woods. He ran off to the other side of the mountains and howled so that only the wolves could hear him. "Boys! Boys! Many boys! In the forest! Wake up and come down!". A few wolves came out and yelled and cursed at him. He decided that it just meant a lot more for him and his brothers. He crept sneakily into the forest, positioned himself and ponced high up and landed on a fat eight-year-old. He told him to go and sit in the corner and wait for him. Which is what the fat boy did. One by one he pounced on all of them and then led them back up to his cave whilst all the other wolves watched on. He killed all of those scouts, with the help of his brothers and they had a mighty fine dinner that evening. The best part is, after that day, all the other wolves always responded to his "boy cries" and ran down to where he said they were. Accidental Wolf Junior would then go up and help himself to their food. This went on for many years, since wolves are really stupid, and Accidental Wolf Junior, and his brothers lived happily ever after, growing fat on all the stolen food.
The moral of the story is, If you cant get what you want on your own merit, then cheating is a superb alternative. Cheating is a profession practiced by many but mastered by few. If you can master the art of cheating, you will never grow hungry.
I was in the MRT on my way to Orchard a few days back, feeling a little sleepy. Actually a little is an understatement. I was literally dozing off whilst standing up. A really dangerous stunt so dont try it at home kids. Well actually go ahead and try it at home, but not when ure in the train. Anyway, I passed by Newton and my sleepy brain actually began thinking. Its amazing isnt it? My brain actually works! I began questioning the name Newton. I came to a conclusion that its a really weird name to name a place in Singapore. I mean NEWTON! I kept pondering over it for the next few minutes, and then I heard the sexy voice of the MRT lady say "Orchard". Then it all made sense. Heres my theory. Its a SCAM! A joint scam by the Singapore Tourism Board and the government. It all makes sense. The government strategically named these two places such since they are so close each other. They masterminded the whole scam and left it to tour agencies to finish the job. However their plan backfired because people are stupid.If everything had gone as planned, Tours around these areas would sound something like this.
Tour guide: We are now at Newton, the birthplace of the famous Sir Isaac Newton. It is here, where he grew up and occasionally got whacked up by the other kids for being such a nerd.
*Gasps from tourists*
Tour guide: Next stop, Orchard. The place he was when an apple fell and hit him on his head.
Does it make sense now? Im starting my tour agency tomorrow. I'll rent bikes to tourists and make them cycle with me around Singapore. Anyway, heres a story I thought about at work yesterday.
The Wolf Who Cried Boy
Far, far away, in the land of Haivenmaven there lived a whole tribe of wolves. They were all mean wolves who ate people for breakfast,lunch and dinner. They just had tea and biscuits for supper. Anyway, these wolves lived in caves in the mountains. Now my story revolves around this particular family of wolves. They consisted of Mother Wolf, Father Wolf, Mistress Wolf, Wolf Junior, Wolf Junior(II) and Accidental Wolf Junior. They were really a psychotic family. For instance, they were the only crazy wolves who had a Hi-Fi system in their cave. Which was totally a waste since they only ever played one song, which went "I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE! I'LL EAT YOU AAAALLLLIIIIIVVVEEEEEEE!". These crazy wolves used to blast this song while dancing around the helpless human being who was about to get eaten.
These wolves were really chomping down on humans. The human population around that area was rapidly decreasing. One day, news reached the wolves in mountains that a hunter was out looking for them. All the sensible wolves stayed inside their caves, and locked their imaginary doors. So that leaves us with the psychotic wolf family. They decided to eat out that night, and felt like hunter meat. So they all trotted along on their prowl for the hunter. After a few hours, they spotted him treading ever so cautiously on the broken twigs and dead leaves on the forest floor. Father wolf sprang up and howled. With a swift turn, the hunter aimed, shot and killed Father wolf in mid-air. Then mother and mistress wolf sprang up in unison, and collided in mid-air. They felt the ground for the last time, before the hunter fired two shots each at them. The kids were terrified. So they followed the breadcrumb tracks they made, back to their cave.
Life was tough for the little wolves as orphans. They were unable to get enough food since they were inexperienced in hunting. The severe lack of food caused Accidental Wolf Junior to go slightly beserk. He decided to play a prank on all the other wolves.
One fine Saturday morning, he went right across towards the boundaries of the forest and started howling "Wake up fellow Wolfeses. Theres a delicious boy behind those trees. First come first served!". The other wolves woke up and since they were still very groggy, they did not question his credibility. On thinking of the prospect of having scrambled boy for breakfast, they ran down to the base of the mountain and ran into the woods and searched for an hour for the boy while Accidental Wolf Junior went up to their houses and helped himself to their spare food and brought home supplies. The wolves were very angry when they found out he lied but took pity on him since he was retarded.
He made this a habbit. He would often go to various locations and "cry boy". Fewer and fewer wolves responded to his cries untill one day, he was left standing there yelling to himself alone. Now he couldnt go up and steal supplies anymore since the other wolves were immune to his cries.
Two days later, he was walking along the outskirts of the forest again, when he heard voices. He poked his snout through the bramble bush and sniffed. His keen nose detected dried perspiration on sweet skin, and someone's fart. He pushed his furry face through and saw a bunch of scouts picnicking in the woods. He ran off to the other side of the mountains and howled so that only the wolves could hear him. "Boys! Boys! Many boys! In the forest! Wake up and come down!". A few wolves came out and yelled and cursed at him. He decided that it just meant a lot more for him and his brothers. He crept sneakily into the forest, positioned himself and ponced high up and landed on a fat eight-year-old. He told him to go and sit in the corner and wait for him. Which is what the fat boy did. One by one he pounced on all of them and then led them back up to his cave whilst all the other wolves watched on. He killed all of those scouts, with the help of his brothers and they had a mighty fine dinner that evening. The best part is, after that day, all the other wolves always responded to his "boy cries" and ran down to where he said they were. Accidental Wolf Junior would then go up and help himself to their food. This went on for many years, since wolves are really stupid, and Accidental Wolf Junior, and his brothers lived happily ever after, growing fat on all the stolen food.
The moral of the story is, If you cant get what you want on your own merit, then cheating is a superb alternative. Cheating is a profession practiced by many but mastered by few. If you can master the art of cheating, you will never grow hungry.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
What I wrote for my O levels EL paper 1
Write a story based on the line "When I saw the pictures, I realised how similar we looked"
I vividly remember the day I first stepped foot into my home. I was only a couple of months old at that time. My "parents" were opting for adoption. They saw me at my miserable "orphanage" and immediately fell in love with me. Just a while later, I was in a small box, being carried to my new home. A semi-detached, with morning glories entwined in the fencing.
After what seemed like an eternity, they put me down and opened the box I was in and with a wave, signalled me to come out. I moved forwards cautiously, and brought my front-right paw forwards and stepped onto the floor of the living room, followed by my front-left paw and then my hind legs. I trotted towards my new parents and looked up at them. Mr and Mrs Vinod. Mr Vinod was a tall-dark man with a rather hairy face. Mrs Vinod was quite the opposite, a short-fair woman without a hairy face.Thankfully. They had an eight-year-old daughter Meera. Mr and Mrs Vinod were very nice to me. They gave me a warm welcome and took good care of me. Meera on the other hand was rather indifferent towards me. She just stared at me for a few seconds when I first arrived and then went off. She used to avoid me altogether. I was quite surprised as it was usually the children who were closer to us. I tried winning over her by following her around for a while and whining to get her attention but my attempts were futile. I might as well have asked the chair to play with me.
I spent my first few days wandering around the house, familiarising myself with the various smells of the house and when Mr and Mrs Vinod came back at around seven in the afternoon everyday, I would greet them with a few barks and jumping around them. I used to love taking the piece of cloth Mr Vinod used to wear on his feet, I later found out they were called socks, and biting them. The days were spent like that. Meera still had not shown any sign of affection for me. I decided to leave her alone and I stopped going after her.
Two weeks later, something strange happened. It was a friday night and I was under Meera's bed. I liked it there, especially at nigh when this box blew cold air out and made her whole room really cold. The marble flooring used to feel like ice against my tender paws. I imagined myself as one of those Alaskan dogs I used to watch on television. Anyway, I was enjoying the cold air under her bed and I dozed off. I don't really know how long I was sleeping for, but suddenly my ears picked up a strange sound. Still half asleep, I cocked my right ear up and after a few seconds realised that it was the sound of someone sobbing. I realised it was Meera and contemplated going back to sleep again since she wouldnt want to see me anyway but I couldnt. I couldnt break the code we dogs are sworn to. Our code binds us to our owners, to give up our lives, if necessary, to protect our owners. I stretched a little and got up and trotted out from under her bed. I looked up at Meera. She was holding a "card" and sobbing. I yelped at her, jumped up on her bed and rubbed my nose against her elbow. She started sobbing harder. I was surprised that I had an adverse effect on her. She pushed me off her bed and sobbed "Go away! I never wanted you here! Why did you have to come and live with us?"
I stared at her for a second. I felt heartbroken. I whined and whimpered and turned my head, letting it droop down in sorrow. I started trotting towards her door.
"Wait. Im sorry! Its not your fault. Please come back."
I couldnt believe my ears. I cocked them up again and turned around. She patted her mattress, signalling me to sit there. I ran and sprang up on her bed and sat down obediently. She looked at me and said "Im sorry. You see, before you came we had another dog named Spike. He was exactly like u. However, he fell seriously ill and had to be put to sleep. He was the best friend I ever had and it was very hard accepting the fact that he is gone. Then you came and you remind me so much like him. Here is his picture."
She showed the "card" to me. It was a picture of Spike. When I saw the picture, I realised how similar we looked. I understood why Meera had been so cold towards me. I looked up at Meera and whined again. She patted my head and promised to become friends with me. I was on cloud nine as I heard those words and as she patted me for the first time. Things are going to be much better from now onwards.
PS: Its not exactly the same, but it is very very close to the original one. See yall soon.
I vividly remember the day I first stepped foot into my home. I was only a couple of months old at that time. My "parents" were opting for adoption. They saw me at my miserable "orphanage" and immediately fell in love with me. Just a while later, I was in a small box, being carried to my new home. A semi-detached, with morning glories entwined in the fencing.
After what seemed like an eternity, they put me down and opened the box I was in and with a wave, signalled me to come out. I moved forwards cautiously, and brought my front-right paw forwards and stepped onto the floor of the living room, followed by my front-left paw and then my hind legs. I trotted towards my new parents and looked up at them. Mr and Mrs Vinod. Mr Vinod was a tall-dark man with a rather hairy face. Mrs Vinod was quite the opposite, a short-fair woman without a hairy face.Thankfully. They had an eight-year-old daughter Meera. Mr and Mrs Vinod were very nice to me. They gave me a warm welcome and took good care of me. Meera on the other hand was rather indifferent towards me. She just stared at me for a few seconds when I first arrived and then went off. She used to avoid me altogether. I was quite surprised as it was usually the children who were closer to us. I tried winning over her by following her around for a while and whining to get her attention but my attempts were futile. I might as well have asked the chair to play with me.
I spent my first few days wandering around the house, familiarising myself with the various smells of the house and when Mr and Mrs Vinod came back at around seven in the afternoon everyday, I would greet them with a few barks and jumping around them. I used to love taking the piece of cloth Mr Vinod used to wear on his feet, I later found out they were called socks, and biting them. The days were spent like that. Meera still had not shown any sign of affection for me. I decided to leave her alone and I stopped going after her.
Two weeks later, something strange happened. It was a friday night and I was under Meera's bed. I liked it there, especially at nigh when this box blew cold air out and made her whole room really cold. The marble flooring used to feel like ice against my tender paws. I imagined myself as one of those Alaskan dogs I used to watch on television. Anyway, I was enjoying the cold air under her bed and I dozed off. I don't really know how long I was sleeping for, but suddenly my ears picked up a strange sound. Still half asleep, I cocked my right ear up and after a few seconds realised that it was the sound of someone sobbing. I realised it was Meera and contemplated going back to sleep again since she wouldnt want to see me anyway but I couldnt. I couldnt break the code we dogs are sworn to. Our code binds us to our owners, to give up our lives, if necessary, to protect our owners. I stretched a little and got up and trotted out from under her bed. I looked up at Meera. She was holding a "card" and sobbing. I yelped at her, jumped up on her bed and rubbed my nose against her elbow. She started sobbing harder. I was surprised that I had an adverse effect on her. She pushed me off her bed and sobbed "Go away! I never wanted you here! Why did you have to come and live with us?"
I stared at her for a second. I felt heartbroken. I whined and whimpered and turned my head, letting it droop down in sorrow. I started trotting towards her door.
"Wait. Im sorry! Its not your fault. Please come back."
I couldnt believe my ears. I cocked them up again and turned around. She patted her mattress, signalling me to sit there. I ran and sprang up on her bed and sat down obediently. She looked at me and said "Im sorry. You see, before you came we had another dog named Spike. He was exactly like u. However, he fell seriously ill and had to be put to sleep. He was the best friend I ever had and it was very hard accepting the fact that he is gone. Then you came and you remind me so much like him. Here is his picture."
She showed the "card" to me. It was a picture of Spike. When I saw the picture, I realised how similar we looked. I understood why Meera had been so cold towards me. I looked up at Meera and whined again. She patted my head and promised to become friends with me. I was on cloud nine as I heard those words and as she patted me for the first time. Things are going to be much better from now onwards.
PS: Its not exactly the same, but it is very very close to the original one. See yall soon.
Monday, February 21, 2005
The curse of the Jiggerbyte man.
Hello my little dingbats. Gosh my head is full of stories to tell. Don't even know where to start. Let me do my impersonation of the Goodness Gracious Me guy to calm myself down.
Ok done!
Today was rather interesting. I woke up at 5am cuz I needed to ease my bladder, then while easing my bladder I suddenly began thinking of ideas for writing a book. I wont reveal them now in case I do decide to write a book based on those ideas. Anyway I was surprised ideas came to me when I was three quarters asleep. Anyway I went back to sleep and woke up at 8:40 and then pressed the snooze button on my phone and slept till 9:40. I ended up rushing to get to work on time. It was another monotonous day at work. I expected the day's events to be the same ones that happen everyday. Little did I know that a very peculiar and scary event was to take place later in the day.
It was around 5pm. I was at the front of the shop pacing about as usual, thinking of what to write in my blog when I reached home, when a weird looking Chinese man walked in and enquired about Pentium 4 computers. I told him the price and the specs for that com. It went something like this.
Weird Man: *Strange sounds* P4 have?
Me: Yes. Over here.
*** I lead him to the P4 coms.
Weird Man: How much?
Me: Five-seventy
Weird Man: Huh?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: HUH?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: What?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: HUH?
Me: DAMN! FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY DOLLARS!
Weird Man: Oh Ok. Speed?
Me: 1.4GHz, 256mb RAM
Weird Man: Hmm *makes weird sound with his throat*
Me: Oh and 40 Gigabytes.
Weird Man: oh 40 JIGGERBYTES?
I stared at im. His last sentence kept echoing inside my head. Laughter was building up within me. I tried suppressing it. I stared at him for ten seconds and he gave me a bucktooth grin. I couldnt suppress my laughter anymore. His last sentence kept reverberating inside my head. JIGGERBYTE! JIGGERBYTE! JIGGERBYTE! I mean what the hell is a Jiggerbyte? Sounds like the name of a jelly-eating-worm. Anyway, the suppressed laughter finally erupted. I started laughing hysterically in his face. He stared at me in bewilderment as I doubled up with laughter and fell on my knees, pounding the floor with my fists. I was laughing so hard that it was really an effort to stop for gasps of air. After five minutes, I finally stopped laughing and stood up. Then when I looked at him, I thought of Jiggerbyte again and once again started laughing hysterically. After a few more minutes I finally stopped for good and looked at him. He kinda got the idea that I was laughing at him, and he started cursing and hissing at me. He grabbed his mast which I never saw him bring in and started tapping it on the floor while he pranced about muttering gibberish. Then, he shouted a a final string of words and then walked out of the shop.
I did not think much of it, untill later on. It was around 7pm. All of a sudden, I had a terrible splitting headache. My head felt like an unripe durian being forced open with a wrench. The word Jiggerbyte surprisingly started haunting me again.This time, it wasnt funny anymore. I know I've always called weird looking people leprechauns in my posts, but I'm really sure that he was a real leprechaun. My headache continually worsened, untill I felt like a jellyfish. I decided then to take the pill. I was told it was an anti-leprechaun-curse pill. Called Paracetamol. Within 30minutes, the jellyfish-like-feeling was gone and the only part of my head that felt like a durian was my spikey hair.
Moral of the story: Never laugh at evil leprechauns even if they mispronounce Gigabyte. Now if they are nice leprechauns then you can go ahead and laugh because its ok to take advantage of nice people.
Ok done!
Today was rather interesting. I woke up at 5am cuz I needed to ease my bladder, then while easing my bladder I suddenly began thinking of ideas for writing a book. I wont reveal them now in case I do decide to write a book based on those ideas. Anyway I was surprised ideas came to me when I was three quarters asleep. Anyway I went back to sleep and woke up at 8:40 and then pressed the snooze button on my phone and slept till 9:40. I ended up rushing to get to work on time. It was another monotonous day at work. I expected the day's events to be the same ones that happen everyday. Little did I know that a very peculiar and scary event was to take place later in the day.
It was around 5pm. I was at the front of the shop pacing about as usual, thinking of what to write in my blog when I reached home, when a weird looking Chinese man walked in and enquired about Pentium 4 computers. I told him the price and the specs for that com. It went something like this.
Weird Man: *Strange sounds* P4 have?
Me: Yes. Over here.
*** I lead him to the P4 coms.
Weird Man: How much?
Me: Five-seventy
Weird Man: Huh?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: HUH?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: What?
Me: Five hundred and seventy dollars
Weird Man: HUH?
Me: DAMN! FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY DOLLARS!
Weird Man: Oh Ok. Speed?
Me: 1.4GHz, 256mb RAM
Weird Man: Hmm *makes weird sound with his throat*
Me: Oh and 40 Gigabytes.
Weird Man: oh 40 JIGGERBYTES?
I stared at im. His last sentence kept echoing inside my head. Laughter was building up within me. I tried suppressing it. I stared at him for ten seconds and he gave me a bucktooth grin. I couldnt suppress my laughter anymore. His last sentence kept reverberating inside my head. JIGGERBYTE! JIGGERBYTE! JIGGERBYTE! I mean what the hell is a Jiggerbyte? Sounds like the name of a jelly-eating-worm. Anyway, the suppressed laughter finally erupted. I started laughing hysterically in his face. He stared at me in bewilderment as I doubled up with laughter and fell on my knees, pounding the floor with my fists. I was laughing so hard that it was really an effort to stop for gasps of air. After five minutes, I finally stopped laughing and stood up. Then when I looked at him, I thought of Jiggerbyte again and once again started laughing hysterically. After a few more minutes I finally stopped for good and looked at him. He kinda got the idea that I was laughing at him, and he started cursing and hissing at me. He grabbed his mast which I never saw him bring in and started tapping it on the floor while he pranced about muttering gibberish. Then, he shouted a a final string of words and then walked out of the shop.
I did not think much of it, untill later on. It was around 7pm. All of a sudden, I had a terrible splitting headache. My head felt like an unripe durian being forced open with a wrench. The word Jiggerbyte surprisingly started haunting me again.This time, it wasnt funny anymore. I know I've always called weird looking people leprechauns in my posts, but I'm really sure that he was a real leprechaun. My headache continually worsened, untill I felt like a jellyfish. I decided then to take the pill. I was told it was an anti-leprechaun-curse pill. Called Paracetamol. Within 30minutes, the jellyfish-like-feeling was gone and the only part of my head that felt like a durian was my spikey hair.
Moral of the story: Never laugh at evil leprechauns even if they mispronounce Gigabyte. Now if they are nice leprechauns then you can go ahead and laugh because its ok to take advantage of nice people.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
What Tea are u?
Chamomile Tea...You are Chamomile Tea.Your an original! Helpful to anyone in need and
always willing to lend a hand, you take action
but not through violence, people listen to you
for you have a knack for giving wonderful
advice! Many look up to you and you try your
best not to let them down. You have many
friends steadfast or no who consider themselves
lucky to be near you. You may have been hurt in
the past but you dont let that stand in your
way! You have a wonderful outlook on life and
try to see the good in people which is an
awesome gift!
What type of Tea are you? {-With Anime Pictures!-}
brought to you by
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
The Journey Home
Hello peeps. Its me once again. Dont worry I'm not gonna attempt to write anything philosophical again, cuz I realised I suck at it. Partly because I'm only philosophical when I'm sleepy. Then the sleepyness attributes to the nonsensical posts.Anyway, Im gonna write about the events of the day. I went to work today.
The End
Just kiddin... Like as if you guys dint see right through my lame joke! Anyway, just around noon today, I was fixing this computer that someone sold to us. Refurbishing it for re-sale. It was an AMD K-6 with 160mb SD RAM with 3.7GB. Pretty crappy eh.Anyway, those nitwits installed WIN XP on their crappy com which made it really laggy and hard to use. They probably sold it off cuz they thought it was spoilt. Lol. Anyway, like most people who sell off their coms, they did not erase the data in their hard disks. So I decided to read their chat logs. The computer was used by 3 girls around 12 years old. I read Emelyns log. She and her friend were bitching about their other friend being a stuck up person. I know that was a despicable thing to do, reading other peoples chat logs and then finding out about all those people, including their email addresses and their pictures etc. I felt like a spy in a spy movie who hacked into someones PC and retrieved vital data that would help create a missile that would blow up planet Earth.
Nothin much happened after that. I just waited till around 9:30 then left for home. I went to 7-11 to pick up my going-home buddies. Mr Gulp and Mr Mashed Potato. I paid $2.20 fer the two of them, and carried them lovingly out of the store. I stirred Mr Mashed Potato about for a while, telling him how much I yearned for him the whole day, then before he could reply I started eating him. After a few spoonfulls of Mr Mashed Potato, I looked at my left hand where Mr Gulp was being held. He looked at me pleadingly, with his eyes full of fear as I brought the straw down hard on him, piercing it right through his head. Then I gulped down the contents of Mr Gulp. BTW, he was made up of 5% Coke, 60%Vanilla Coke, 15% Groovy Grape, 5% sprite and 15% ice. Mr Gulp tasted really good. So I walked along, making my way towards the 51 bus stop which was around 10-15 minutes walk away. Here comes the sad part.
I was about half way there, when Mr Mashed Potato played me out. I found myself scraping his empty cardboard bottom, accumulating the last bit of mashed potato on the plastic spoon and licking the spoon clean. I felt cheated as I threw his empty body into the bin. For the first time, He did not last all the way to the bus stop. I turned to Mr Gulp and said "At least i've still got you." but as luck would have it, He was not going to last much longer. I was near the cemetary when the last few drops of Mr Gulp sweetened my dry tongue. I walked on, wishing I had my going home buddies back with me. But it was a fact of life, once they are gone, they are gone. The remaining 500metres was spent rolling my tongue around in my mouth, reliving the divine taste of Mr Mashed Potato and whenever I swallowed my saliva, the sweet taste of Mr Gulp came back, never lasting long.
What a sad walk home. Anyway, I have to stop now cuz my sister needs to do some work for her crappy degree. I mean what is more important? Blogging or studying to get a degree to ensure that you become rich and lead a comfortable life? jeez shes gotta sort out her priorities. Oh n BTW I'm going to Nerds r US (NUS) tomorrow for a workshop on script writing. Yucks! Im gonna have nerds surrounding me. Hope they dont attack! Anyway, Im outta here.
The End
Stop Scrolling down... It really is the end!
No Seriously!
The End
Just kiddin... Like as if you guys dint see right through my lame joke! Anyway, just around noon today, I was fixing this computer that someone sold to us. Refurbishing it for re-sale. It was an AMD K-6 with 160mb SD RAM with 3.7GB. Pretty crappy eh.Anyway, those nitwits installed WIN XP on their crappy com which made it really laggy and hard to use. They probably sold it off cuz they thought it was spoilt. Lol. Anyway, like most people who sell off their coms, they did not erase the data in their hard disks. So I decided to read their chat logs. The computer was used by 3 girls around 12 years old. I read Emelyns log. She and her friend were bitching about their other friend being a stuck up person. I know that was a despicable thing to do, reading other peoples chat logs and then finding out about all those people, including their email addresses and their pictures etc. I felt like a spy in a spy movie who hacked into someones PC and retrieved vital data that would help create a missile that would blow up planet Earth.
Nothin much happened after that. I just waited till around 9:30 then left for home. I went to 7-11 to pick up my going-home buddies. Mr Gulp and Mr Mashed Potato. I paid $2.20 fer the two of them, and carried them lovingly out of the store. I stirred Mr Mashed Potato about for a while, telling him how much I yearned for him the whole day, then before he could reply I started eating him. After a few spoonfulls of Mr Mashed Potato, I looked at my left hand where Mr Gulp was being held. He looked at me pleadingly, with his eyes full of fear as I brought the straw down hard on him, piercing it right through his head. Then I gulped down the contents of Mr Gulp. BTW, he was made up of 5% Coke, 60%Vanilla Coke, 15% Groovy Grape, 5% sprite and 15% ice. Mr Gulp tasted really good. So I walked along, making my way towards the 51 bus stop which was around 10-15 minutes walk away. Here comes the sad part.
I was about half way there, when Mr Mashed Potato played me out. I found myself scraping his empty cardboard bottom, accumulating the last bit of mashed potato on the plastic spoon and licking the spoon clean. I felt cheated as I threw his empty body into the bin. For the first time, He did not last all the way to the bus stop. I turned to Mr Gulp and said "At least i've still got you." but as luck would have it, He was not going to last much longer. I was near the cemetary when the last few drops of Mr Gulp sweetened my dry tongue. I walked on, wishing I had my going home buddies back with me. But it was a fact of life, once they are gone, they are gone. The remaining 500metres was spent rolling my tongue around in my mouth, reliving the divine taste of Mr Mashed Potato and whenever I swallowed my saliva, the sweet taste of Mr Gulp came back, never lasting long.
What a sad walk home. Anyway, I have to stop now cuz my sister needs to do some work for her crappy degree. I mean what is more important? Blogging or studying to get a degree to ensure that you become rich and lead a comfortable life? jeez shes gotta sort out her priorities. Oh n BTW I'm going to Nerds r US (NUS) tomorrow for a workshop on script writing. Yucks! Im gonna have nerds surrounding me. Hope they dont attack! Anyway, Im outta here.
The End
Stop Scrolling down... It really is the end!
No Seriously!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Veronica Decides to Die
Hello everyone. I am really sleepy and I cant think straight now so I'm really sorry if my post doesnt make any sense, but I cant wait. My sis is leaving tomorrow fer Australia and shes gonna take the laptop with her. My com is spoilt till I assemble a new one. So this is the last post for a while. I dont think I will be gone for long, but just in case.
I hope everyone had a nice Valentines Day. I watched Constantine today. Its really good. My favourite actor Keanu Reeves did really well once again. I'll bet my last penny( or cent for that matter) that there will be a sequel to this movie. Constantine Reloaded, or Constantine Revolutions. LOL! Well maybe Constantine 2, or Constantine: The end of Time. Hey you never know.
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about life and death recently. Reading the book "Veronica Decides to Die" kinda amplified my thoughts on that particular subject. However, it also brought about inner serenity. Closure even. Its hard to explain the exact way I feel. I feel normal most of the time, and yet I feel really calm inside. What does life really mean? What is the purpose of life? We just go on and on living but we fail to recognise our purpose here. We fail to recognise the purpose of the ups and downs of life. I like to think that the Ups and Downs of life are for us to reach the middle. Its best to interpret that in any way you prefer.
Like I said I read the book "Veronica Decides to Die". Its about this girl in her twenties who has everything going for her in life. Looks, a stable job, love etc. One day this girl, Veronica, decides to kill herself. She decides that she cant live anymore. She finds life predictable and boring. She realises that everything in life has a pattern. Everything that happens in life is routine. Birth, adolescence, youth, marriage, kids, getting old and dying. She felt that many people were just superficial. Many of them were hypocrites who were slaves to the system. I guess she didnt want to fall into that trap. She took pills and laid down to die. As luck would have it, she survived and woke up in an asylum. Worse still, she found out that she had about a week to live because her heart was permanently damaged. She begins falling in love with life again as she is surrounded by "mad" people.
This got me thinking that wouldnt it be wonderful to be mad? You get to live in a world of your own. You dont have to follow the system anymore. In a way, you are free. Unshackled from routines, expectations and hypocricies that form the core of peoples lives. Since these virtues form the core of people, it is what these people disseminate, thus polluting the society. It would be better to be mad than to be normal. In that case, the mad are actually more normal than us 'normal' people. We are madder than the mad because deep down, we are all mad but we choose to suppress it. Suppression can only lead to further adversities and hence we are watering the seed of madness sowed deeply within us. We go on thinking we are normal because everyone does the same. Its only those who dare to be different that are considered mad. Why one asks? Because normality is defined by the majority. If the majority is really mad, then normality would be madness which is what is happening now. Madness would be normality. What the birds and animals are doing right now, minding their own business and living to the principle of "live and let live."
I really dont know what I am talking about now, my eyes have already closed three times. Im sorry for such a "MAD" post. I would like to go further, but perhaps another day when im awake and able to think "normally". Goodnight eeveryone.
I hope everyone had a nice Valentines Day. I watched Constantine today. Its really good. My favourite actor Keanu Reeves did really well once again. I'll bet my last penny( or cent for that matter) that there will be a sequel to this movie. Constantine Reloaded, or Constantine Revolutions. LOL! Well maybe Constantine 2, or Constantine: The end of Time. Hey you never know.
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about life and death recently. Reading the book "Veronica Decides to Die" kinda amplified my thoughts on that particular subject. However, it also brought about inner serenity. Closure even. Its hard to explain the exact way I feel. I feel normal most of the time, and yet I feel really calm inside. What does life really mean? What is the purpose of life? We just go on and on living but we fail to recognise our purpose here. We fail to recognise the purpose of the ups and downs of life. I like to think that the Ups and Downs of life are for us to reach the middle. Its best to interpret that in any way you prefer.
Like I said I read the book "Veronica Decides to Die". Its about this girl in her twenties who has everything going for her in life. Looks, a stable job, love etc. One day this girl, Veronica, decides to kill herself. She decides that she cant live anymore. She finds life predictable and boring. She realises that everything in life has a pattern. Everything that happens in life is routine. Birth, adolescence, youth, marriage, kids, getting old and dying. She felt that many people were just superficial. Many of them were hypocrites who were slaves to the system. I guess she didnt want to fall into that trap. She took pills and laid down to die. As luck would have it, she survived and woke up in an asylum. Worse still, she found out that she had about a week to live because her heart was permanently damaged. She begins falling in love with life again as she is surrounded by "mad" people.
This got me thinking that wouldnt it be wonderful to be mad? You get to live in a world of your own. You dont have to follow the system anymore. In a way, you are free. Unshackled from routines, expectations and hypocricies that form the core of peoples lives. Since these virtues form the core of people, it is what these people disseminate, thus polluting the society. It would be better to be mad than to be normal. In that case, the mad are actually more normal than us 'normal' people. We are madder than the mad because deep down, we are all mad but we choose to suppress it. Suppression can only lead to further adversities and hence we are watering the seed of madness sowed deeply within us. We go on thinking we are normal because everyone does the same. Its only those who dare to be different that are considered mad. Why one asks? Because normality is defined by the majority. If the majority is really mad, then normality would be madness which is what is happening now. Madness would be normality. What the birds and animals are doing right now, minding their own business and living to the principle of "live and let live."
I really dont know what I am talking about now, my eyes have already closed three times. Im sorry for such a "MAD" post. I would like to go further, but perhaps another day when im awake and able to think "normally". Goodnight eeveryone.
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